


Pneuma

by KeanBlade



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, M/M, kami - Freeform, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29712870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeanBlade/pseuds/KeanBlade
Summary: Death isn't always an ending, sometimes the last breath lingers if the gods will and fate has been thwarted
Relationships: Amaterasu & Senju Tobirama, Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama & Ootsutsuki Indra, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Comments: 232
Kudos: 305





	1. a hundred hundred heartbeats

**Author's Note:**

> Probably fix the summary later, maybe, just pretty tired

There are some that would say that Tobirama died as he lived; angry and tired and cold, firm in his choice and biased in his heart when he gave leadership to one who wasn’t an Uchiha and denied them a voice in their own homes even to his last breath. They would be wrong. But Tobirama was more than used to that at this point, those who told the story of his life and death would also call him demon and cruel in the same voice and – well, maybe they weren’t wrong in at least a bit of that; after all who but a demon would allow the death of the brother of the man he loved? Oh Tobirama hadn’t _intended_ to kill Izuna and even after his sword had struck wrong he had planned to show Madara how to heal the younger Uchiha the moment he could find Madara or sneak into the Uchiha compound; he hadn’t realized how bad things were or how much he had miscalculated – or how fragile Madara’s trust in him was, until the Uchiha chased him away in fury, screaming his rage and betrayal and bitter words of condemnation from the last person Tobirama had thought believed in him. Then again it was Tobirama that had broken faith first wasn’t it? What he and Madara had would never have held up to any threat to Izuna, and that Tobirama had thought that Madara might have enough faith in him to _listen_ was foolish in retrospect. That was why he had only ever tried to talk to Madara once more privately after everything, he hadn’t said anything to Madara when the village was formed or as they all learned to live alongside each other, and Tobirama’s dreams went cold and hard with the disgust in Madara’s eyes every time they passed over him.

He watched Madara, watched the Uchiha with his clan and Hashirama and the few others Madara spent time with and he did what he could for the older man from the shadows, but it wasn’t until Madara seemed on the edge of shattering and nothing Tobirama did made it any better that he had gone to the Uchiha in the night and offered the older man a blade and his neck, free and clear. Madara had been furious, even more angry than before and every word that Tobirama had forced out to try and help had only made it worse (Madara had just wanted him to never have existed then, Tobirama had hoped that had changed but…), in the end Tobirama had retreated and the next day Madara vanished and the fate of the world was doomed. (In the end it was Tobirama who was weeping over Madara’s waterlogged corpse, Tobirama who did what he could to bury his dead love with as much dignity as possible and Tobirama who went back to the duties he was more and more sure he would fail at – which he did in the end, failing those he had loved best as he always did when he wasn’t good enough to make a place for the Uchiha that fit them right and doomed his love’s kin to a painful fate.)

So as Tobirama died himself it wasn’t all that different from the slow death of his heart that he had suffered for so long and he felt nothing but dull relief – relief that only grew when he felt a phantom of Madara’s chakra; one last hallucination before he went then, ah well, at least it was a nice one…(as his breaths bubbled to a stop and the Gold and Silver brothers laughed, blades raised to deface his corpse Tobirama never felt Madara’s chakra spike in fury and horror and never saw him slaughter them before they could do more than destroy his unseeing eyes; he never heard the screams from the Uchiha as he saw Tobirama’s corpse or his terrible wailing, never knew how Madara raged and wept and _broke._ )

(Madara had never wanted this, Madara had never wanted this future for the man he _still_ loved, the man he had loved since he was sixteen and the two of them were taken captive together for several months in a gladiator ring in Lightning and the Uchiha had tumbled head over heels in love with his clever winter fox. He had- _did-_ love Tobirama beyond reason and when Tobirama had struck down Izuna Madara would admit that he had reacted badly – grief and betrayal and fear and Izuna’s voice all tangled together into a bitter mess with the dark voices whispering in the shadows of Madara’s mind until he was lashing out at the one person he should have listened too; the one person who could have helped him. Even after the village was formed Madara had no idea what to do, pride and anger and grief and hurt forcing him to stay aloof even when he felt Tobirama’s eyes on him and he told himself he was just waiting for Tobirama to apologize, that it was _Tobirama_ that had to take this first step- as if it was never Madara that had said those bitter toxic words- and when the albino _did_ it…. **shattered** Madara. To see Tobirama alone and close and his and so sure Madara would kill him-! Madara couldn’t find the words and he couldn’t stay after that, he just couldn’t. So instead he left and watched Tobirama keen his grief over Madara’s ‘corpse’, trapped in lamentation until the albino died himself still grieving.)

* * *

So yes, Tobirama died tired and he died cold and he hoped to go to peace and not to the Pure Lands, longing instead for silence and unmaking that he wouldn't have to grieve anymore (or bring anymore pain to those he loved as he seemed to always do in life). And for a moment he felt that peace and welcome until soft voices in his ears called his awareness with shinobi instincts as old as anything in him and twice as inviolable. At first the voices were indistinct but then a female voice spoke in tones that reminded Tobirama powerfully of Madara; the same depth that the Uchiha had had when happy, the honey softness that had surrounded Tobirama in sinking pleasure as they lay together in in the dappled sun in those afternoons they could get off with each other.

(They had been meeting for over a year and a half already and Tobirama was well past seventeen when he and Madara kissed for the second time- the first had been cold and alone and afraid in Lightning, after that they agreed without words to wait, afraid that the real world would break what they had found together-, the culmination of long, long talks with the Uchiha about what they wanted in the future and how they wanted it and what it meant to be Uchiha and Senju. Tobirama had believed then that together they _could_ make peace happen and still respect their differences and cultures; Madara had made him _believe_ and Tobirama had treasured that when he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on the Uchiha, blushing shyly when he pulled back and Madara didn’t follow, completely terrified that he would be rejected. Madara hadn’t, had just asked a few questions about why now- _“I wanted to”-_ and was he sure _\- “It’s you Madara”-_ and did he understand what was at risk? “ _It’s worth it ‘dara, you’re worth it”_. After that Madara had, well, _pounced_ was the only word for it and the kisses- and following touches- hadn’t stayed shy for very long; and lying tangled together in the sun with cooling sweat as Madara murmured to him had been one of the best few times in Tobirama’s short life. He had thought then as he drew absent patterns on Madara’s bare chest that he would do almost anything to keep it a little longer – anything maybe, but not enough in the end; never enough, as usual for Tobirama.)

The memories made his heart _ache_ and Tobirama must have made a noise as the voice stopped and then there was a noise of silk and a shift of suddenly tactile covers and bed as a light weight sat next to him, smelling of chrysanthemum and sun and gold. A soft sigh and slender fingers traced over when Tobirama’s eyes were covered by bandages (bandages?), lingering where the fabric was damp at the corners with another sigh “ **You are awake then child?** ” the person – woman, kami probably given the shifting veils of power wafting through the room in Tobirama’s dulled chakra sense. Slowly he nodded, unwilling to speak as the goddess picked up his hand and raised his fingers to her face, guiding his hands to feel over her features as if she wasn’t a _kami_ but instead one of Tobirama’s close kin when he had strained his eyes to temporary blindness. The calloused tips of his fingers pulled over her slender brows and proud beautiful features and Tobirama couldn’t help the soft gasp of “ _Madara!_ are you-? _”_ and the kami laughed softly like a lion’s roar and the wind through chimes, “ **I am his mother in a sense child, he is more mine than most who have come before, certainly more than those others that would try and claim him. Tell me, do you know who I am?** ” Tobirama swallowed and nodded as shallowly as he could at the question, breathing “Amaterasu-ōmikami” in an uncertain voice, unsurprised when she laughed again.

“ **Indeed, though you may call me Amaterasu-hime if you wish. Now, do you know where you are?** ” he shook his head, biting back a wince as the sharp stabs of pain that brought “ **You are in the edges of the Pure Lands, those places that belong to us of the Kami alone and where no mortal touched creature may hold sway unless we will it. You have been brought here for there is much to tell you that you do not yet know and must if you are to ever find peace** ” without a thought and against his better judgment Tobirama’s mouth opened and words leapt out in a rush “Do I have to go back?” and he winced, ashamed of the pleading in his voice. There was a long pause and Tobirama thought that Amaterasu-hime was communicating silently with someone in the door for a moment before she spoke again to him, **“No child, you do not if you do not wish too. You are- or should have been- my Avatar, my will in the world, my mirror made flesh as a gift to bring peace to the Uchiha, to my Chosen children – no, hush, it is not your fault that you failed in that task for you knew naught of what was around you and how you were beset, and I do not blame you for that. After all you caught the heart of the Chosen made most closely in my image so as to almost be my son, you were never aught but what you should have been.”** There she paused as Tobirama’s head reeled; he would never do Madara the disservice of thinking that the Uchiha hadn’t cared about him or had somehow how not known his own heart, but he had never known where in Madara’s heart had he had resided and if it would last with pain and loss or if Tobirama would do something and lose it, as he lost all such feelings and to hear it phrased like this, as if Tobirama _hadn’t_ destroyed Madara’s trust and hurt him so deeply…well, it hurt enough to make it hard to think for a moment (it wasn’t surprising at all to know that Madara was all but the child of a goddess, he had always been a bit _more_ than anyone else and so beautiful! In ways no one else in his admittedly well-formed family was).

Tobirama forced himself to focus on the goddess again, keeping his silence as he didn’t know what to say to her words; he hadn’t failed? He had been her Avatar and supposed to help the Uchiha? He who had doomed them? For Tobirama feared that no matter what he had tried to do his choices would in the end only strengthen the divide between the Uchiha and the rest of the village in the end (he had never been that good with people and tended to miss things others saw in interpersonal communication, it was part of what had made him and Madara such a good pair; he had needed Madara’s understanding of people and their hearts and wants and passions and Madara had used Tobirama’s cooler nature and cold implacability to balance his wild brilliance. Together Tobirama had found certainty and safety and a place from which to start, steady ground under his feet and a voice calling him back and – well, Tobirama…missed him, he just…missed him).

The goddess sighed again and ran her fingers through his short hair, “ **Madara is my child and my flaws are his, for good or ill. I can not tell you how overjoyed I was to see you and he – ah, well, never mind, focus on me and not the past Tobirama, I have a story to tell you. But first, what do you know of the Avatars of the gods? Nothing? We don’t have them often but once in a while we see the need to work our Will on earth and so we forge a soul from power and sacrifice and artifice, creating a Working of unparalleled strength from the fabric of the world until a new and brilliant soul if born, one that has never traveled around the Wheel of souls or ever lived before – something _new_ to bring something new to the world. Such a thing are you, the Uchiha have long been my favored children you see, since I first set my eyes on the father of their line I have called them mine; for Indra was…shinning unrivaled in the ages of the world and he brought me great, _great_ joy. I did not wish for him to die- or for his fate to be as it was- but when he did and passed on into the fabric of the world and the power of the divine, transmogrified into something truly of this earth and leaving behind any claim that cursed _Sage_ had on him that kept him from me in his first life- and keeps his grandmother from Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto even now no matter what my former husband would like with her-. I was thrilled to have him pass into my power and when I was _thwarted-!_** _”_ she paused and gathered herself when Tobirama shook at her anger, taking several breaths before continuing more gently.

“ **Indra’s soul should have become mine and I gave my blessing to his line in anticipation of his reincarnation though I came to love them for themselves later; when I found out that the blasted _Sage_ had changed the turn of the Wheel to force a specific reincarnation on his sons I was _livid_ , so angry I had to go into confinement lest I burn the world past recovery. It was in that confinement that I conceived of creating you, a soul to match my Indra and bring him joy, one that could discover how the Wheel had been rigged and how to free Indra and Asura- and Kaguya I suppose- you were forged from my Will and mirror and Ryūjin’s nature and Omoikane’s thought and Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto's light to help Indra when he was Madara and I was so overjoyed with your conception that it cooled my anger. But I…miscalculated. For while I had been in confinement the world had changed and Indra's- and Asura's I suppose- soul had come to harm and the world had forgotten the marks of my Avatar, or Avatars in general is seems, and you were not received as you should have been on earth and instead doomed to pain and loss and rejection and I am _so sorry_ for that my child.”**

Tobirama’s swallowed hard, thoughts bouncing wildly through his head as he tried to make her words and the clear affection in her voice make sense in the context of the – well, the pain and loss and rejection that had been so overwhelming in his life. “I don’t – I don’t understand” he whispered eventually, flinching when Amaterasu-hime’s fingers stopped for a moment “ **Ah child…you have been so ill-used - and trust me I have spoken with my Chosen children about their treatment of you, to call my Avatar a demon!”** Amaterasu-hime sounded indignant on those words, clearly unhappy enough Tobirama felt a bit bad for the Uchiha “ **That they were unaware is no excuse in my opinion, they should have remembered or at least listened to their instincts and read that Tablet of theirs! I didn’t go to the work of forcing the _fucking Sage_ into adding my command to that thing just for them to ignore it!**” Tobirama’s brow furrowed at that, think about what Madara had told him about the Stone Tablet; it hadn’t been much as they were clan secrets but Tobirama had pushed a bit, hoping it would hold the secret to fixing Madara’s damaged eyes (and yes, he _had_ noticed that, how could he not when he touched Madara’s face all the time?), but what he had heard…

“I don’t think – Madara spoke of a Stone Tablet once or twice, he said it had clan secrets about the Sharingan and it’s evolutions and higher techniques and never mentioned anything else. It had the secrets of the Mangekyō Sharingan; like how to obtain it, and its ability to control the tailed beasts, and the story of the Sage of Six Paths and God Tree. I think there was warnings about the Sharingan and Curse of Hatred- I was hoping to help with that but never discovered how- and some thing about saving the Uchiha with some high level technique Madara never said much about; he couldn’t read all of it anyway, even after he got the Mangekyō there was parts that were indecipherable.” At his halting words he felt the goddess next to him stiffen more and more with anger until her fingers in his hair were almost painful. “ **It that so.”** she purred “ **It seems that something has gone awry indeed then, something I will have to look into _soon_ ; perhaps it was that asshole Sage- he was always selfish and possessive, even of things he neglected and didn’t care about enough- but I have a feeling there is more to it than that. Clearly the kami have been too hands-off and more Avatars need to be put into action**”.

“What-“ Tobirama hesitated and then forced himself to continue “-what about the bijuu? If Avatars are so hard to create and – um, exclusive why not try working with the bijuu as go between first? Unless, are they not enough of this world?” he heard the shift of hair on nice silk as the goddess cocked her head thoughtfully, “ **That…hmm, perhaps now that you mention it. They are formed from the unearthly powers of the Ōtsutsuki but only after going through so many transmogrifications that their very _nature_ is almost one of change and adaptation; yes, perhaps they could be put to better use than stuffed badly in whatever mortal is connivant as a super weapon”** Tobirama winced at that even though there was no censure in her voice, Hashirama’s choice to trap the bijuu was one that Tobirama still didn’t like even if he had tried to make the best of it for Konoha after – then again that was the story of Tobirama’s life; making the best of things that he didn’t like, no matter what it cost his heart.

“ **Well,”** Amaterasu-hime said briskly “ **something for me and the others to look into at least. For now you need rest, your soul took a beating in your life and not being able to execute your purpose made it worse; not being around Indra- Madara I mean- at the end made it worse, I never imagined you would have to function without him! But you are welcome here and here you will stay for a while, as my Avatar you exist sideways of the Wheel of Reincarnation as I chose, so you are not called to leave and return to the world; your little brothers are both in the world again and –** “ she hesitated for a moment and Tobirama followed her thoughts, swallowing before forcing words past dry lips. “Hashirama isn’t where he should be either is he?” her silence was answer enough “He’s – or was, Asura wasn’t he? Tied to the same pattern in the Wheel as Indra for some reason” another pause and sigh, “ **Yes child** , **his soul is lashed to the same fate as our Indra’s.** ”

“Oh, I – oh” Tobirama’s voice was small and tired and he couldn’t think of what to say after even as Amaterasu-hime tried to reassure him- but what could she say when Madara was forever lost to Tobirama and Hashirama was as well?- and her promises that the Uchiha in the Pure Lands would be kind and treat him as was his due (including Izuna apparently, his soul had become damaged somehow in his life and was recovering still before he rejoined the Wheel) was less encouraging than the goddess hoped Tobirama thought. He wanted sleep, non-existence, to just _rest_ , not more heart aches and failures (what he wanted, what he _really_ wanted in his heart and would never ask for was those days in the sun with Madara back. The Uchiha speaking to Tobirama like he was hoping every word would be encased in amber to string into jewelry to adorn Tobirama with; drape him in chains of love and praise and hopes, shining tokens of love and their times together even when they were so fleeting). Knowing that the Uchiha regretted how they had treated Tobirama and spoken of him now that they knew and would be better now was not half as thrilling as Tobirama thought Amaterasu-hime wanted it to be; how could they or the Senju stand against the pain and feeling of Madara dead in his arms? (Against the shattered hope that Tobirama could find Madara in death and apologize maybe if he wasn’t allowed rest, it had been a small hope and Tobirama wasn’t that surprised to know that Madara was well beyond him; as he had always been except when the Uchiha was willing to wait for Tobirama to keep up (( _Hashirama_ had never had trouble keeping up with Madara)).)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I write fast and don't edit much- this is a place for me to not have to worry too much about perfection and just enjoy it- so things can be mangled at times. (I've got a wonky brain that can't see symbols as well, so I frequently can't even see mistakes) That's not something that's likely to change any time soon, so if imperfect writing puts you off this probably isn't for you


	2. humming bird-beat

The goddess departed and time passed or didn’t – it hardly mattered here where the kami resided on the edge of both and with his vision covered and his chakra sense a hazy mess everything was reduced to a soft blur completely free of time’s defining edges. Drifting and breathing slow and intentional the only indication that time hadn’t stopped entirely as even Tobirama's thoughts felt velvety and empty; a misty lake in every direction and the only clarity was the reflection in the water of times long gone though still bright in Tobirama’s memory. ( _Madara snarled in annoyance, storming to stare at a wall and not looking at the albino with Tobirama’s raised brow; the albino’s own irritation softened by the sight of the older boy’s unprotected back, “Mad—_ a stone in the water and another moment in the dark, _hands frantic as Madara clawed at Tobirama’s clothing, his chakra roiling and both of them moving too fast and –_ his world shivered and shifted, a new Presence introduced to this world like ink spilling into water, so compleax and strong that Tobirama’s sensitive chakra sense was deadened to anything but the impression of Power and Age and…Reverent Waiting, another kami then?)

Soft geta on the floor signaled Amaterasu-hime’s presence and the heavier tread with her had an odd clicking on the steps – as though the person had _claws_ on the tips of their toes, what-? Ah, the scent of salt and ozone and a soft _shh_ sound Tobirama had heard in snakes as their scales moved over each other, “Owatatsumi-no-kami,” Tobirama murmured, struggling to push himself up enough to show proper respect, Amaterasu-hime hadn’t seemed that interested in having Tobirama bow but apparently he was sort of her….child? so that was different and the dragon god might have – “ **None of that fledge, you may call me Ryūjin or chichiue if you wish; after all I have more claim to being your father than Butsuma ever did** ” the open derision in the kami’s whispery voice curled around Tobirama and sunk deep into a part of him he hadn’t realized was waiting and hungry; yearning for the acknowledgement that his own father had never given him, Butsuma had always seen Tobirama as a tool and valued him in that to an extent, but see the albino as a person? No, never. His breath hitched as a hand dropped onto his head, broad and large enough that the tips of the claws- talons probably more accurately- picked at the base of his skull and now that Tobirama was paying attention to the play of warmth on his skin from the light in the room from the window he could tell that though Amaterasu-hime was a fairly tall woman, Ryūjin was another thing entirely; the entire room feeling like it was shifting and pleating around them as the dragon god moved to kneel at Tobirama’s traditional bedside.

“ **Ah fledge…”** the kami murmured and though he couldn’t see them Tobirama was willing to bet the kami was sharing a look with Amaterasu-hime as the goddess sat at Tobirama’s feet and curled a hand around if ankle, her touch having the same radial heat as sun warmed basalt in the evening (once upon a time Madara had figured out how to make his skin do something like that, first it was to warm the freezing albino in Lightning and then later Madara had said he just liked Tobirama’s napping on him like a giant cat). Hoping to distract himself Tobirama raised a hand and was trying to figure out how to ask if he could feel the dragon god’s face politely when the taloned fingers gently tugged his to the kami’s face; pale fingers chasing the lines of what must be a fascinating face, all upswept long bone structure (even his eyebrows winged up at the ends rather than down) and though it must be quite striking Tobirama was sure that with the _stretched_ element, shifted bones- to make space for longer teeth and different sinus structure probably-, and fine scales along the bones, Ryūjin must be incredibly striking (it was a pity Tobirama couldn’t see him, what color was he and did he have pupils and how did he dress and - all things that could be ignored in Amaterasu-hime who seemed to look a lot like Madara, but Ryūjin was a _dragon!_ ).

With a bit back sigh Tobirama withdrew his fingers and tucked them under the soft cover draped over him, trying hard to ignore the memories welling up of the first time Tobirama had exhausted his eyes to the point of blindness around Madara and ( _Tobirama had tucked himself as far back in the corner as he could, braced and ready for attacks while trying to pretend that he wasn’t shaking with fear to be both blind and with his chakra sense impaired in enemy hands. Heat and bloomed in front of him and Tobirama twitched with the need to press in close to the wall of warmth in front of him, Madara’s chakra a steady familiar force even with Tobirama’s senses impaired, “What is with you Senju?” but his voice was deep and far less aggressive than his wording implied and the way he set himself between Tobirama and the rest of the gladiators in the rest cave while the albino snapped and tried to avoid answering until a gloved hand grabbed his and pulled his dirty fingers to the Uchiha’s face, allowing the younger man to trace his features with trembling touches. It had been like seeing the light for the first time and by the time they had fought their way out of there Tobirama had known the shape of Madara’s smile well enough to trace the bloody curve of it in his dreams_ ) “ **Fledge, come back, do not lose yourself in echoes”** Ryūjin’s voice was a bolt of lightning through the mist, thunder cracking and hissing ozone.

In spite of himself Tobirama felt his lips quirk up in tired amusement but didn’t bother to correct the kami on the nature of his musings – after all given Amaterasu-hime’s disgruntled sound she would defend him if needed. “Chichiue, what need have you of me?” the albino asked calmly, folding his hands together demurely and cocking his head to the side, waiting while the dragon god snorted, a distinctly non-human sound that echoed the rush of the sea. **“Is that how it is then? Well, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised”** Tobirama was fairly sure part of that was directed at the goddess sitting near his feet and heard her sniff in mild offence (he could imagine what she might look like having seen Madara do the same sniff and look away many times and willing to bet the two would have the same obstinate tilt to her chin) **“ah, fledge you truly did become more than we ever anticipated; so dedicated. But nothing more of that,”** Tobirama forced his shoulders to untense, relived that the dragon god was willing to let it go **“for now at least think not of this, I merely came to say hello and see how my fledge was with mine own eyes rather than through the grapevine of the summons – your feline mother mourns you deeply fledge, but when you are ready and strong it is possible that you may go see her on the edges of the realm if you wish. Not now, but eventually if you are ready it is possible for an Avatar to go far enough to meet a lead summons and she will not begrudge you the wait.”**

Tobirama swallowed and tipped his head toward his twisting fingers, aching for the thought of Akira who had been so important to him for so long; he hated to cause her grief and wanted to see her, but no amount of guilt and care could erase the deep need to just _rest_ without any demands on his time or heart – not even the most loved of demands. (He missed Madara, Madara who had- oddly enough- never asked for more than Tobirama could give and when Tobirama couldn’t meet him halfway _Madara slithered in through the window with the moonlight, Tobirama staring blearily at the other teen a little surprised to have a fever hallucination be so cautious and careful of observers but thrilled to see him. Wait, did that mean – worried Tobirama clapped his hand over his mouth tightly, wide eyed and worried at what he might say in his fever about his greatest secret, “Hey sweetheart” Madara’s whisper was a low rumble that faltered at the sight of the hand clamped tightly over the albino’s mouth and the fever flush high on his cheeks “sweetheart, To’ra, what’s wrong? are you feeling sick?” carefully the Uchiha slunk closer and dragged his fingers through the wild snowy hair. Slowly Tobirama shook his head, baffled by the corporeality of the gloved hands as they tugged his hand away from his mouth and he swayed into Madara; humming blissfully as he was swamped in warm chakra, “Shhh, you’re a secret, I can’t tell anybody, secrets have to be **quiet** , secret-spots might get hurt if I’m not” which, uh oh, dizzily Tobirama tried to cover his mouth again and then Madara’s when the Uchiha buried his face in Tobirama’s neck to muffle his snickering_.)

A taloned hand shifted and pet Tobirama’s hair for a moment before Ryūjin rose and left without saying anything else to the Senju, aware that the albino wasn’t listening to him anymore; lost in the currents of memory. **“I told you, his ours but he is Indra-“ “ _Madara_ Amaterasu, the man he loves is Madara before he is Indra” **Ryūjin’s voice was a sharp rebuke and there was a lingering pause before the sun goddess spoke again **“…Madara then, it doesn’t matter to me what name his soul wears it is always going to be the one who should have been my son if that fucking _Sage_ -“ “Amaterasu!” “-sorry, either way, he is mine and now our child is _wasting_ away without the compliment to his soul, Madara will never join us here and without him our child will be lost to us in truth.” **Amaterasu’s voice went hard and tight as she continued **“I _told_ you that he was too devoted to be swayed Ryu-o, he and Madara chose each other in life and Tobirama will not be swayed from him in death; without Madara Tobirama will fade to nothing.**”

The dragon kami sighed deeply as they moved away from the too-still room where the light seemed almost to stream through the blinded figure on the bed, **“You made him to well for your purpose, but then I would never have thought to make him flawed against this either. You…were right, this has gone on too long and the Sage has gone too far; I will speak with Omoikane and Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto, they will both stand with us, Omoikane for Tobirama and Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto for Kaguya’s sake. You find someone to help our fledge gain back some strength and maybe go after the bijuu as you planned, we have to keep moving if we want to make this right fast enough for the fledge to stay strong”** Ryūjin’s voice was sure and determined and edged with thunder as his brilliant eyes narrowed and his cobalt blue-scale accented skin caught the light oddly as his divinity shifted under the membrane of his seaming.

Amaterasu refrained from rolling her eyes with dignity, amused rather than annoyed because she was sure Ryūjin wasn’t actually trying to tell her what to do – and anyway most of it was a repetition of what she had already discussed with him; all she had needed was to show him how badly his fledge was faring to push the god over the edge into helping her with the _fucking_ Sage. Still, he was right. Amaterasu needed to find a way to tether Tobirama here, something to keep him from fading with his exhaustion and loss; it…hurt though, the _kind_ thing to do would be to let Tobirama go and wane into light and mist and the power they had woven him from that he might _rest_ without the pain that had followed him all his days because of the kami’s failures to make sure the world was ready for him. But the sun goddess was not a kind woman and she would not let her Avatar go, for love of him in part but also because he was _perfect_ to be her Avatar on earth and Indra’s counter-part and she did not think she could weave so well again. Actually, hmm…she knew how devoted _Tobirama_ was to Madara and that Madara cared for the albino but how much? Was it enough? She needed an insight into his mind somehow.


	3. ka

It was the scent of cherry blossoms and oakmoss wafting into Tobirama’s room as he sat neatly in front of the open door to the engawa some days later (maybe? Tobirama would admit that time seemed to slip past him more and more, the moments slithering through his fingers marked less and less as he drifted) that gave him enough warning to recognize one set of the approaching footsteps and stand just before the impatient walker darted right up to him and yanked him into a bruising tight hold, dragging him into a bit of a stoop over her smaller frame. “Mother?” Tobirama grated out, the scent of oakmoss and press of complex braids against his cheek throwing him back in time to his childhood and Rhiannon Senju née Hatake’s proud chin while her slender fingers showed Tobirama how to hold a brush and form letters or brushed his wild hair in the evenings as she told him about summons and blood and power. “Oh my little wolf, what did they do to you?” with those words the petite woman pulled back, cupping Tobirama’s cheeks and turning him from side to side like she was trying to get a better look at him, making him self-conscious of the bandage over his eyes for the first time (he wasn’t even sure why he couldn’t see); after all it was proud Rhiannon that had taught Tobirama how to use perception and appearance like both blade and disguise.

“Oh little wolf” Rhiannon whispered again, pulling on Tobirama until he ducked far enough for her to kiss his forehead lingeringly; her fingers digging into his skin harshly in an odd comfort. Rhiannon Senju had never been a soft woman; fierce and wild and regal and proud, her love was a force of nature and her ambition just as towering she had done well by the children she raised to rule their world but overly soft touches from her even here in death would have been…terrifying.

A sigh and the gray haired woman pulled back, gesturing to her companion- the source of the smell of charry blossoms- and waving the other over to them, “Tobira, this is Konohanasakuya Uchiha-“ “Madara’s mother” the Senju interrupted, too off balance to feel too bad about the loss of decorum when he could sense the faint shape of the Uchiha’s chakra and felt a bit as though he had been slapped with the strength of the similarity of her to Madara. For a long time Tobirama had wondered about that, so much of Madara had been so unlike his father- Tobirama had never told his lover but Izuna was far more like the former clan head than Madara was- that Tobirama had wondered where Madara had gotten things. Well, now he knew. Even without much of the strength of his chakra sense and without his sight he could _feel_ how much Madara must have taken after the woman in the soft radiating power of her presence; who could he have been if Konohanasakuya had been able to raise him more and fostered those parts of him more?

There was a delicate tinkling laugh and a rustle of fabric as the Uchiha moved closer and gently took Tobirama’s hand to raise it to her face as she spoke, “You must call me Konohana Tobirama, after all you would be my son as well if life had been a little more kind” Konohana was interrupted by Rhiannon’s snort and unimpressed voice; “You mean if that blasted alien Sage was less of a self-important _fool_ ” she snapped. Konohana tusked but said nothing more as Tobirama’s feather light touch was passing over her face at that moment, trying not to mar her light cosmetics and swallowing back the ache at feeling another set of fine boned features though Konohana lacked the distinct upswept angels of Madara and Amaterasu-hime’s faces, still… ”You must look very like him” Tobirama whispered, touching a single lock of hair before withdrawing his fingers and tucking his shaking hands in his sleeves. There was a smile in Konohana’s voice when she spoke, touching his elbow to bring him with them as the three sat at the table Tobirama had abandoned when he realized his mother was coming, “I do, he looks a great deal like Amaterasu-ōmikami of course but in face he takes after me though my Izuna got my hair – I have no idea when Madara got his cloud from! Not that I dislike it, don’t look like that Tobirama, Madara’s hair is perfectly lovely no matter how he came by it. And anyway my hair is not a perfect match for Izuna completely- I have streaks of my mother’s Yamanaka blonde in with the Uchiha black- only little Toga had my hair out of my children.”

“I’m sorry” Tobirama whispered, aching at the reference to one of Madara’s siblings; the Uchiha hadn’t spoken of them often about he had never hidden how much he had adored them and his mother and losing both the four year old Togakushi and his mother in the same night while only seven had been deeply painful for Madara Tobirama knew. “Oh Tobira, dear, it’s not your fault” Konohana murmured, touching his cheek and petting over his white hair as next to them Rhiannon made an agreeing noise and squeezed his hand tightly before letting go and reaching to serve tea (which – _ought_ to be Tobirama as the least ranking- Hokage or not- but given he couldn’t see and couldn’t even use his chakra to compensate with out a lot of work that was probably smart), “you mustn’t take blame for such things, no matter what you have been convinced of by your ass of a father and fool of a brother. No! no arguing on this and your mother agrees with me.” the Senju lady sighed a bit, but Tobirama heard her nodding “Butsuma…our relationship was always about achieving our own ends, not any particular love of each other but I – I do wish I had just figured out how bad things were going to get and a way to counter act them – more than just getting you a summons contract little wolf. I certainly should have spent more time with Hashi, he was…far too much like me but with his head in the clouds and enough power not to be forced to earth, he never had to learn how to handle mud and never got close enough to realize it was mud made with blood” at his mother’s words Tobirama ducked his head a bit and swallowed hard, taking the teacup that was slid close to him with shivering fingers.

For so long hearing that sort of unflinching assessment of Hashirama from someone Tobirama didn’t have to defend his brother from- someone that cared about Hashirama and also saw the flaws Tobirama did- would have been a huge relief but now…it hardly seemed to matter given that they were all dead and both Hashirama and Madara were far from Tobirama’s reach. “Even so” Tobirama whispered into the fragrant steam from the tea “I killed Izuna-“ “No you didn’t” Konohana’s interruption was brisk and no-nonsense “you wounded Izuna badly yes- which was what you were _supposed to do_ in a war by the by- but it wasn’t your blow that killed him. No what killed Izu was his father’s teaching about Senju and his jealous willful temper, he was fighting you to _kill_ but it was outside interference that let the wound get so bad and outside interference that made Madara unable to hear you when you offered to heal Izuna. It was outside interference that convinced Izuna to force Madara to take his eyes in order to stop the blindness even after you were already working on healing Madara’s eyes and it was the loss of his Sharingan and the chakra pathways in them then killed Izuna from poorly tended wounds, it is not your fault and it is certainly not your fault that Izuna was so gifted at manipulating his brother into giving him whatever he wanted by threatening to withhold affection and calling him a betrayer. I love my child dearly and I always will, but Izuna while alive needed a kick on the ass and an interdiction to reality and the way his choices hurt his brother and abused Madara’s heart. Izuna knew exactly what buttons to push – and now that I know where Madara’s soul originates those weak spots make all too much sense.”

Tobirama froze, his fingers going very still and cold as he stared blindly at where the Uchiha woman was sitting, her words trickling through him slowly and clicking into place several suspicions that Tobirama had long had (he had never told Madara- would never have told Madara even if they had been talking or together- that he missed the Uchiha’s old Mangekyō after it changed, it had always felt….foreign to look at that changed pattern and though it was _Madara_ and therefor hardly mattered as he would love it anyway he had missed the old Mangekyō that he had looked into in Lightning as they fought their way out, or trusted to keep watch, or seen light with interest, or amusement, or had blazed on him when they were together carnally. Missed the eyes that remembered him and had memorized him like Madara wanted to never lose even a second as Tobirama rode him gasping and shaking with desire – he had long wondered if the changed pattern had anything to do with forgetting those moments together, a question he would never know the answer to probably; but maybe that was better, maybe it was better to never know that Madara had wanted to forget those moments together that Tobirama held dearest in his heart even after all this time).

Movement at the door again pulled Tobirama’s attention back to the moment and _spearmintrosmarylipstick_ washed over him with the blaze of Amaterasu-hime setting it off, the goddesses’ hand coming up to brace Touka as Tobirama launched himself into his cousin in a moment of weakness he hadn’t had since he was quite young indeed. Though clearly a bit shocked the other Senju’s arms snapped up around Tobirama and held him as tightly as she could without making his chronic pain worse, burrowing into Tobirama’s ever present fur ruff with a tight noise as the albino let out a shaking breath into her top knot. Touka had died _years_ ago from Tobirama’s perspective and her loss had been a never ending ache in a way that even Hashirama’s hadn’t; not that losing Hashirama and having to take over as Hokage hadn’t _broken_ something in Tobirama, but by the time they got there their relationship had already been…rough. It had never really recovered from Hashirama killing Madara, Tobirama understood necessity (he just wasn’t sure it had been as necessary as Hashirama thought, not when Tobirama had _told_ his brother he was going to follow Madara and keep an eye on him – and by then Hashirama had known what Madara meant to him) and if it had been anything other than a blow from the back it might have been a bit better (maybe, _maybe_ ) but it wasn’t and the already growing rift between them had cracked open into a fissure they had never truly healed (hard to heal when Hashirama refused to acknowledge that there was anything broken).

Still, when Touka had died suddenly in another country Tobirama had found himself without half his support it had ached and ached every time he looked for her to share his world and found there was no one there but echoes (she and Mito had stepped up and claimed his time whenever he wasn’t with his students or working and they had become his closest companions and advisors through out his time leading the village, Tobirama’s heart ached for Mito; the last of them and with so many dead where there should have been living loved ones). “Missed you brat” the older- younger? How did time work here?- Senju muttered squeezing tight once and then easing back, Tobirama feeling his lips quirk a bit in spite of himself at the gruff emotion in her voice “And I you cuz” he murmured back, pressing their brows together briefly before turning back to the table after bowing shallowly to the goddess and waving them to sit around it, hoping that the table would have some how changed to fit all of them and produced more cups (he was fairly sure that it would, after all he was _sure_ that there had only been one cup of tea before his mother and Konohana arrived).

Settling- gracefully, just to hear Touka snort and a bit pleased at Rhiannon’s approving noise- he gathered his shreds of chakra and twisted it in careful shapes to pour the refilled tea with a hand sign, much easier without eyes than trying to pour by hand if exhausting. As the tea settled again Tobirama relaxed, the chakra lapping out of him slowly and pulling his focus away into a misty shroud for a time before it receded; the conversation around him continuing softly, Konohana reaching out to shift the albino to lean on her as Rhiannon watched her tall son drift in and out with worried eyes. “Are you sure I shouldn’t tell him Amaterasu-ōmikami?” Touka asked lowly watching her little cousin with concern, the goddess sighed softly **“Yes, for now it will do nothing but tax him past bearing, I will be working on getting him a bit of time with Madara-as-Indra by way of a little timeline trickery but I do not think he can take any more guilt right now; best he have some time to recover before he learn that Madara never really died. Or do you think he would take it well to learn that the man he loves abandoned him to grieve and his dear cousin was killed trying to bring the news back to him?”** the crisp rebuke in the kami’s voice made Touka flinch and with another glance she looked at her frail cousin and shivered, “No, no I don’t think he could take that.”

Amaterasu nodded and sipped at her tea, amused by the lingering light flavor of chakra clinging to the fragrant liquid, **“We are working on changing things, if he can hang on long enough I will bring my son to him and they can fix each other. But until then we must keep him here”** Konohanasakuya took a deep breath and leveled the kami with an even gaze, her pale gray eyes stubbornly holding the kami’s incandescent gaze “And my son, _our_ son? What of him? He is suffering Amaterasu-ōmikami, I know he has been hidden from your gaze when he is alone, but he is not hidden from me and I have found ways to see him enough to know he is suffering deeply.” The kami’s brilliant eyes narrowed on the sumptuous lady of the Uchiha and then abruptly grew brighter as the goddess laughed; well pleased with the strength of one of her children, _especially_ the one that had called Indra her’s.

 **“No,”** she murmured **“I would never want to leave Indra- _Madara-_ to suffer and I will do what I can how ever little that might be right now, for now I am seeking to link their dreams – or at least let Madara into Tobirama’s good ones about them to get him away from whatever corrupting influence has been _slinking_ around the edges for a bit and closer into my influence. When he is strong enough as I mentioned I intend to see if he will step back through time in dreams, there is a loophole I intend to make the most of”** with a sigh the Uchiha closed her eyes and sighed, relief clear on her elegant face as she focused on stroking her fingers through Tobirama’s wild hair, silent with the strength of her emotion.

“You know if you found a way to bring Akira-hime, Mito and Kikiyo Uchiha you would probably have everyone you needed to take over the world without ever talking to any of the other Kami” Touka mused, lounging with deceptive ease and watching the other woman through her lashes and carefully timed to alleviate stress, glad to see Madara’s mother being so affectionate and welcoming to her little cousin; he deserved to be welcomed into the family like he was married in after everything that had happened. Though honestly given he was the Sun Goddesses’ Avatar he would probably get a much better welcome now from the Uchiha than he had in life (Touka kind of wanted to see their faces when they realized the man they had spurned so thoroughly in life had been the one person they should always have treated with respect and reverence. Assholes.). Amaterasu-ōmikami laughed softly, pulling Touka’s attention back to the goddess and the evil little glint in her eyes as she spoke **“Well, Mito is firmly alive and thus rather out of reach and Kikiyo is living yet as well, but I intended to fetch the summons at some point in the future if needed. Not yet, he isn’t ready for visitors to often – not when they seem to bring so many heart aches and worries.”**

Touka grimaced but couldn’t argue with that as Tobirama slowly stirred, the strip of black cloth covering his eyes stark against the washed out color of his skin and hair; hell even his markings seemed dull and dark on his cheeks as he pushed himself to sit, seeming disoriented and wan even in celestial light.


	4. swans

When Tobirama woke it was to the murmuring of the women and scent of tea as Madara’s mother’s fingers pet at the fur over Tobirama’s shoulders; Touka’s sniggering underlaid by Rhiannon’s vigorous tone as she railed about Butsuma in the early days of their marriage, telling all the stories none of them had ever heard growing up without her (or honestly even thought to ask, Tobirama was so used to his father as the clan leader that forged him into a weapon for the clan with hard mouth and dark eyes it was difficult to imagine the man in his mother’s stories - not that the Butsuma in those stories was _that_ different but it was strange to imagine his father as someone that could be laughed at or refused, even by his indomitable mother). “Awake?” at the soft question Tobirama sighed and nodded, pushing to sit up and trying to smile in thanks for Konohana as he did, tilting his head to listen to his mother and cousin go back and forth and wondering vaguely when Amaterasu-hime had left.

“You never told me why you came by” he murmured, skating his fingers over the table until they bumped up against his impossibly still steaming teacup- uhg, celestial powers- and lifted it carefully to sip the lightly fragrant liquid (was it different from earlier? This was a different tea from before wasn’t it), fingers curved precisely around the fine china as he sipped. (Watching him Konohanasakuya felt her heart yank painfully, he made a graceful picture with the proud lines of his shoulders and the soft fall of his snowy hair over his covered eyes and looking at him now it was far too easy to see how Madara had lost his heart to this man so completely. Konohanasakuya had wondered if the albino could be good enough for her amazing son- Avatar or no- and it was something of a relief the see that he seemed to live up to everything Madara could want – and return the strength of the Uchiha’s regard, that was visible in the shape of his lips as he tasted the tea and and the curl of his unoccupied hand) “This is quite close to one of Ma-Madara’s favorites.” He murmured, politely ignoring Konohana’s widening eyes “When we – when we were young Madara went through seasons of having favorite types of tea, this was his favorite for the entirety of fall and winter of his twentieth year; it was a warm season, and he liked the lighter flavors because of that. After – well, _after_ , he liked the stronger tastes – not that he would have told me _after_ – I – he always drank more of the stronger teas when I had Kagami take him them.”

Konohana’s eyes were sad and tired and Tobirama didn’t have to have eyes to know that, shoving down his anxiety the albino flailed for a story about Madara that was less stressful and wouldn’t send him into drifting memories “Back when we first got together after we got back home there was a while where – I mean both of us were trying to figure out how to spend time together when our family’s might have noticed, we were going to just…not see each other” (and shit, that had _hurt_ for a while until Madara ambushed Tobirama on the way back from a mission and spending time together again had been a relief on a level Tobirama had never experienced before) “but it didn’t last and then there was a while where Father and Tajima were both alive so Madara didn’t have all the clan head responsibilities yet and Father always had me on missions so it was fairly easy to meet up or join Madara on missions for a little if we were in the same area. He, he worked really hard to try and cheer me up and get me distracted from the mess that was things with my clan – things were a bit tough with Hashirama at the time and Father – well, Madara was always trying to distract me.” (Tobirama knew in his heart that Madara had done so much of that in an attempt to cheer up Tobirama and well-remembered Madara’s furious pacing as he raged about Butsuma’s treatment of the albino and the long hours he had spent tucked into the older man’s embrace breathing through his father’s…standards.)

Konohana was starting to smile a bit, cocking her head curiously if the sound of hair on her silk and feel of her chakra was anything to go by “Is that so? From what I had gathered he’s a bit of a…troll” and Tobirama laughed softly at the mischief in her voice, suddenly sure that Madara took after his mother in more than just looks. “Oh he was, he _definitely_ was and if there was a way to make someone do something strange and benefit the clan he would make it happen, like the time he convinced the Nara that the Aburame had planted spy insects on the Nara sheep and the only way to de-bug them was to wash the sheep with a mixture of burdock, yarrow, and sage. Gods the Nara bought so much dark dye from Madara, who had ‘coincidentally’ snatched a large amount of dark dye from the Aburame and sold it to the Nara- at a discount in deference to their dire circumstances of course- to help with the rather awful color the herb mixture had dyed the wool on the sheep. It ended up changing Nara fashion _completely_ ever since and I have no idea if they ever realized that the Aburame hadn’t bugged the sheep, not that they would ever acknowledge it if they did, it would be too embarrassing.”

Konohana’s chakra was fizzing and brilliant with amusement and Tobirama let himself be pulled into the joy she felt at hearing about her son, telling several stories about those days back when things were at their best; holding himself to the present with iron control forcing back the memory of Madara’s dark eyes glinting with mischief and cleverness or the way his hair fell back as he laughed or – well. Tobirama was trying to stay focused on the now and the people in front of him and rolling his eyes as Touka started interjecting with notes on Tobirama’s own responses to Madara’s antics (even Tobirama could admit he had been- realistically still was- rather moony eyed over Madara and Touka- as the only person in the know- had born the brunt of it), doing his best to share Madara with Konohana and give her a chance to get the know her son some even if it was second hand through Tobirama’s eyes; even if it was tainted by the loss of Madara’s humor _after,_ something Tobirama could admit had broken him. Seeing Madara lose for good the humor and playfulness that Tobirama had adored so much, seeing it shredded and flayed away in the searing agony of Izuna’s death had choked Tobirama’s with heartbreak in a way very few other things had – at least until he was the one to find – ( _Tobirama was panting harshly for breath as he raced after his brother and the shifting half hidden flare of Madara’s strength- the Uchiha had mastered the trick of veiling his presence from Tobirama, not hiding, that wasn’t possible, but vailing enough that Tobirama found it difficult to find him- the air in Tobirama’s lungs scrapped and clawed and he was a dizzy with exhaustion so soon after nearly emptying himself on the mission and his side project searching for Madara. But that recklessness with his strength was coming back to bite him now as he was so tired it slowed him from reaching Madara faster and - his brother, standing grim and bloody and angry and hard and – ohgodsnopleasenoIcan’tdothiswithoutyounopleaseNO **NONONONONOONONONONONO!**_

_madara, please)_

**“Tobirama”** Amaterasu-hime’s voice was inexorable and firm as it hauled him out of the memories and he turned blearily to returned the sun kami, shaking with the edges of his consuming lamentation. **“Tobirama, my child”** distantly Tobirama realized that the others had left at some point and Amaterasu-hime’s hand was tight around his wrist, the skin of her seeming blazing with enough heat that Tobirama was sure in the mortal world his own would be burning and blistering already. **“Oh child….come, rest and I will tell you a story of old. Of times gone by and days long lost and people forgot that ought not to have been”** with that she raised him with shocking ease given her slander frame and led him back to his bed, settling there and pulling Tobirama down to lay with his head uncertainly in her lap (odd, so long he had had nothing like this – in life such contact had been so rare and now it was almost too much to bear, but Tobirama wasn’t going to argue with a goddess). With a sigh Amaterasu-hime pulled her fingers through his hair and hummed thoughtfully as she seemed to search for words and Tobirama wished that it was another person with those fine features touching him like this – not that Madara would have ever wanted to touch him like this again.

**“A long,** _long_ **time ago there was us, the kami and you, humanity of the world and though within each mortal was a spark of greater Knowing it was a silent and slumbering thing; with all of your hearts raised in exultation of the Celestial and those of us that resided there, the spark in you waking only with our touch and teaching. And then, from the dark depths of the shimmering alternate worlds, a seed came falling from the mirrored dimensions in a blazing meteor and in time that seed grew into the God Tree and the minds of humanity turned to worshiping the Tree instead of the kami and though much of my kin were greatly wroth we found we could little blame you for turning the light of your souls on a thing that was** _designed_ **to attract such light and worship. You see though the God Tree grew tall and strong and led humanity to worship it as a bringer of strength to the world it was a lie, for as it spread it's roots far through the world it gathered slowly the vitality of this world and all that lived in it; not even the kami and our realms were free from the sucking roots draining the world of its strength and we were forced to retreat to the high powerful places to defend ourselves from the consuming roots; thus for a long time we tended not to the mortals we watched over. It was…one of our greatest failings, had we been watching perhaps we could have prevented the loss of our influence or the sorrow that followed the arrival of Kaguya; perhaps we could have changed Emperor Tenji’s perspective or at least told him that Kaguya was with child and it was his. Then again maybe it would have changed nothing, I do not know that Tenji with his obsession with total peace- rather like your brother actually- would have ever put his concubine first over a chance that it might come to war, children and killing ambassadors in self-defense or not. Still, if we could have saved Aino from dying to protect Kaguya perhaps that would have changed things, there is no denying that Kaguya cared about her attendant and was horrified when Aino died for her and her children. Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto has been keeping an eye on Aino's soul over the ages, just in case Kaguya is ever where he can tell her.**

**Still, by the time we tended again to the world Kaguya had retreated to the Tree under attack and had already consumed the fruit of the God Tree, changing the nature of her own- already considerable- power with the Knowing of our world. It was the fruit of Knowledge and woke within her an _almost_ perfect Knowing, adding to her power in ever expanding rings of fractal-mandala flowers like blossoming lotus and as it spread she turned her new gift on the heavens for the first time and woke us from our preoccupation when the moon- well, the moon as it was then- _changed_ as she trapped the armies attacking her in the Infinite Tsukuyomi, I need not tell you how indignant Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto was to have his name used for that and his realm impinged on, though that quickly changed as he watched Kaguya. But you see by then things had already gone so far and the roots of the God Tree had spread so far, gathered so m** **uch of the knowledge and strength of the of the world that had once belonged to the kami our ability to interfere in the world was fragmented** **anywhere the roots had touched and the intercession that should have been ours had slid through our fingers into the hands of those that carried the strength of the God Tree.”**

Amaterasu-hime sighed deeply, the goddess’ voice regretful as she continued **“We spent a long time watching and debating and considering and as we did Kaguya had two children, a pair of twin boys that she took away from the Tree and those trapped in its hold to raise. They were Ōtsutsuki Hagoromo and Ōtsutsuki Hamura, bright and clever and born with the power of the Ōtsutsuki as well as the Knowing of the God Tree; the perfect blend of power from this world and the many worlds that the Ōtsutsuki gathered strength from. But for all this power there was something about the twins that was…unbalanced, flawed, and in time that started to become clear as Hagoromo- who you know as the Sage of Six Paths- seemed to have inherited the worst parts of the Ōtsutsuki and his mortal father’s refusal to balance ideals and attachment, for though Hagoromo had met and fallen in love once with a mortal girl named Haori after she died he never again bothered to try and love another mortal – or another at all I believe, to my sorrow for his children and brother.**

 **There is more of course to the story, more to how the twins came to blows with their mother over inherited power and the Infinite Tsukuyomi; and how Kaguya- angry and hurt and betrayed and expecting her sons to act as Ōtsutsuki always did with their kin, and how her lover had acted- became the Ten-Tails and was then sealed away in the changed moon with Hamura’s shade keeping watch as the older twin became the Shikigami. There is more but that is not the story I am telling today; no this isn’t the story of the Ten-Tails, this is about our Indra and how his fate became what it is now. Do you know about the shaping of the bijuu? Yes, a little at least. Then you know that they were shaped out of chakra- the power of the God Tree and flickers of the Ōtsutsuki power- and the _fucking_ Sage made his children the same way, unwilling as he had been to even _attempt_ to care for another after Haori died, though he wanted children to teach and lead and leave as a legacy. But in truth I do not think he really wanted children, I think he wanted little copies of himself to make as some sort of perfect final project; a way to show that he was more powerful than his mother, the _asshole!_ ”** the kami paused and blew out a breath, slowly unclenching the hand she had fisted in the blankets and cooling the blazing heat in her hands so as to not burn Tobirama, who was focused on her with quiet intensity.

 **“I’m sorry, I’m sorry child, it just makes me so _angry_ and I…when I think about how we the kami were forced to stand by and do nothing to interfere because the Sage and his sons both carried the power of the God Tree and we had surrendered the right to the lands the roots of the God Tree touched when we didn’t just attack it in full force and burn it to the ground and thus we could do not but watch as the Sage created and raised his children. He made Indra first, formed soon after the loss of his mother and shaped from starfire and stardust and the endings of eternal things; life was not breathed into him so much as _ignited_ with chakra and emotion and loss, formed of such things Indra was…incandescent and eternal and-“ **“Supernova collapsing-star, dancing at the peak of life in the firelight and loving so greatly that it _burns_ ” Tobirama interrupted softly, Madara dancing in his memory at a festival in Whirlpool; hair wild and sweat making him shine as Tobirama watched breathless and stunned as a man seeing a kami descend from the heavens. In retrospect that wasn’t that inaccurate truly, maybe that is why being in the presence of kami now wasn’t as awe inducing as it would have otherwise been.

**“Yes, yes, exactly. It** _infuriates_ **me to know that that asshole created someone so** _stunning_ **and wonderful and think that he was imperfect; because he did think that Indra was flawed from the beginning, he always found that Indra was too much for him. Too powerful and brilliant and strange, the Sage had no understanding of the materials he used when he created Indra and deeply disliked that Indra was never the kind of person you can control or keep like a trophy to show off as proof of your power, so he decided to try again and created Asura. Asura…was more resilient from the beginning and stable- I can admit that Indra was unstable from the beginning, (he needed you child, a steadier fuel for the burn) but that could have been helped with some work or had we been allowed to interfere- he was created from the clay and seeds and chakra, born from the earth and growth and new things slowly unfurling and made when the Sage had had time to grow less volatile and passionate with the passing of time after his mother’s sealing. By the time Asura was born the Sage had students and disciples, people he was waking the Knowing in and passing on the Knowledge from the God Tree to, which was what was needed to use Ninshū and later Indra’s created Ninjutsu, Waking the soul into chakra and passing on the knowledge of how to use it (the Waking chakra passes down through blood but sometimes a soul that was Woken in the days of the God Tree will live another life and they retain their Woken chakra). I think that it was their influence and the growing understanding of his own power that was needed for Ninshū that helped the Sage create Asura closer to the mortals the _fucking_ Sage is so convinced are better then the rest of the Ōtsutsuki. I wonder what he would think if he had ever met his farther? I might have known Tenji well- he was an Emperor and thus mine- but even I can’t say what they would think of each other.”**

Amaterasu-hime clicked her tongue a bit **“Indra loved his brother deeply and he was the** _sweetest_ **child, I don’t know what changed and that is one thing I need to sort out, because though his father’s treatment was more than enough to push Indra away it shouldn’t have been enough for him to grow so bitter towards his brother, even if Indra was tormented by his father’s self-righteousness and favoritism- and he was, don’t get me started on that asshole’s ideas of leadership and his oh so clever method of testing which of his children should inherit his power or his refusal to recognize that other perspectives had any validity, not to** _mention_ **the way that he turned around and blamed Indra for creating Ninjutsu and the way others turned to that instead of his precious Ninshū while completely ignoring that Indra had been coming to him with worries about Ninjutsu and the growing dependence on it for years! I can’t blame my poor Indra for eventually deciding that if his father thought he was this selfish, power hungry uncaring monster he might as well be all that in truth. Still, I know there must be another factor involved here that I’m missing; hopefully the bijuu will have some insights when I can get to them.”**

Tobirama frowned a bit, letting this information filter into his perception and shifting it around in his sluggish thoughts for a moment before speaking “Did – is there a way that – sometimes it felt as though there was something…missing, like a fragment of his chakra was missing though it wasn’t very obvious.” The kami sucked in a sharp breath, freezing for a moment as she turned that over in her head **“Oh, well, that is interesting isn’t it? and with his perfect memory….hmm, interesting, I will have to look into that. Thank you child”** embarrassed a bit at the praise and clear warmth in the goddess’s voice Tobirama ducked his head and tangled his finger under the cover as he searched for a change of subject. “But if you want to get involved in the mortal affairs how are you planning to get past the block of the missing power? I thought the God Tree consumed the power and until that waned you couldn’t interfere – except by way of an Avatar, can you create another?” and oh, that was an idea wasn’t it; a deeply painful one but still, for Madara “can you? One that won’t fail you and can be what Madara needs, that can do it right” his hands were shaking, and his heart ached and confronting his failure head on like this ached brutally, but for Madara it would be worth it.

 **“Oh, oh child, oh no don’t think like that”** Amaterasu-hime crooned, cupping Tobirama’s face and drawing him up to sit as if she wanted to look in his blinded eyes **“my child, my sweet child, you didn’t fail; you didn’t fail me and you didn’t fail Madara. I failed you and Madara both, I should have worked harder and looked closer and done more and it was my carelessness that allowed such hurt to grow in him that eventually came between the both of you. You never failed him child, you were everything he needed, and I promise he would agree with me if asked, if given a chance. We’ll make it right child, I promise you I will bring him back to you, but it might be a while and I need you to hold on until I can bring him to you child; I need you to hold on until I can get to him, can you do that?”** Tobirama felt frozen, shocked at the force of the goddess’s refusal and the flat out denial of Tobirama’s failure (but – he _had_ failed, he knew he had, he must have) and thrown by the idea of seeing Madara again and having the Uchiha look at him with anything like the affection he once had.

It was too much, the goddess hadn’t answered the question about how she was going to make anything happen without an Avatar, but he couldn’t think past the buzz in his head of exhaustion and stress and – hope, hope ever so slight and deeply painful for its existence. “I –“ **“Just hold on for him child, _please_ , I know you are tired but just a bit longer.” **At the kami’s words Tobirama nodded jerkily, unable to refuse anything for Madara even when he was so worn and tired **“Thank you, thank you Tobirama, now rest child, sleep”** and the albino let himself be guided down to the bed again and sliding away into sleep – or the closest thing the dead could accomplish. Unaware of the goddess whispering and drawing on all the power she could to bend the world to her will and twist the threads of time and memory in on themselves; binding the past to the future and tangling the strands of two separate lives back together, allowing two souls to fall together again in the suspended moments of dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drawing on chimericColoratura's headcanon for Indra and Asura from a comment thread on Carmine:  
> "Well, it’s a personal headcanon that, the Sage being the Juubi Jinchuuriki and the eldest son of the Usagi no Megami, and his beloved Haori having died... Ōtsutsuki Hagoromo may not have been willing to marry anyone, or even look at a woman in a carnal way. He seems very out of touch with human desires.  
> So his sons were made in much the same way that the Bijuu were. He combined chakra with some other material, possibly using Banbutsu Sozo, and made first Indra, and then later Ashura. Ashura being more stable as a result of being the second attempt and made with more inherently stable materials.  
> Indra was, in this headcanon, created from stardust and starfire and chakra, and was inherently both powerful and distinctly other.  
> Ashura, made later, was created from clay and seeds and chakra, and tied more to the world, made when Hagoromo had settled better thanks to his connections to his friend/disciple and students.  
> And since Indra was made of inherently volatile materials, his stability was not quite so resilient as Ashura’s, especially given which parts of his chakra Hagoromo was more focused on at the times he made his children (grieving/hurting/starting to heal from the battle with mother- Powerful Chakra and Eyes; more settled/thinking of the future/seeking peace and health- Body and Vitality)  
> Basically, originally, the Sage’s sons were actually less human than the Sage was in body, but behaved more so because they were raised around humans.  
> So Zetsu stealing a literal fundamental part of Indra’s being would have had catastrophic consequences on his mental and physical health. Especially since Uchiha have permanent memory, and as the first Uchiha Indra would have had it too, and as an entity of chakra (plus other things) it’s possible Zetsu’s theft of part of his core self would have altered his perception of his own memories. (Again, just personal headcanon stuff)  
> Like Kurama was effected by being split into literal halves, but could still function, Indra could still function, but probably not without the sense that something was wrong. Which would have increased any doubts and fears he had, and made things more difficult for any subsequent incarnations as Zetsu continued to mess around over the centuries.  
> It would also explain how much better Madara is doing after meeting his Center, which is probably extreme for even Uchiha." (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28679577/comments/395804229)


	5. dream spinner

Madara slept little now, his days haunted by ( _Izuna dying, blood arching in a brilliant spray, Tobirama and “I can heal-“ and “If you can’t forgive you can kill me-“ and “Madara” and seeing Tobirama keen over his false corpse and then – then – then Tobirama crumbled on the ground beaten and bloody and – the brothers had intended to deface his corpse, had wanted to defile him as completely as possible and Madara had known a level of fury he hadn’t realized he could attain as he cut the vile scum down before the Silver brother could finish with the ties on his pants. Madara had made it slow and painful after that_ ) a ruined red gaze staring blankly past him as it never had in life; but for the first time in a long time he felt as though he might be able to sleep, the manic energy that had filled him since he used Izanagi and lost the sight in one eye finally easing a bit and dragging him under the tides of slumber.

 _He stood in a glade in the forests of Fire Country, the dappled sun shining down through the heavy cover and the air full of the buzzing of insects (_ that was odd, there was something strange and muffled about the sound of the forest _) and he was filled with the sensation that he had been here and done this and was waiting for something. “Madara” the word was barely enough time for the Uchiha to turn and catch a glimpse of Tobirama before the albino was launching himself at Madara (_ oh right, this is where he used to meet Tobirama for a little while, how had he forgotten? _) with a happy noise and the Uchiha was moving before he thought, grabbing the slimmer man into his arms and spinning them; clutching the pale man to him and burying his face in Tobirama’s neck while biting down the agonized sounds that wanted to claw their way out of him. (_ oh gods is this what he could have had if he’d only been able to sleep, _dream_ before? _) “Madara, oh Madara, what’s wrong? you’re shaking dear heart” Tobirama’s voice was warm and concerned as he spoke but he only gathered the older man closer, petting the heavy fall of Madara’s hair in firm strokes as the Uchiha struggled to get himself under control. “Long day? That’s ok, you don’t need to say anything, just – c’mere, let me sit” the Uchiha refused to let Tobirama go, just picking him up and moving back to the nearest tree; sinking to sit at the base with Tobirama tucked in his lap, close enough Tobirama was his whole world as the albino murmured softly to him and combed through his hair._

It was the best he had felt in forever and Madara didn’t want to wake up, he wanted the spend the rest of his life drifting through dreams of old times with his lover and as the illusions of yesterdays shifted around him he couldn't even care about the passing of time – and almost didn’t realize that it had shifted to a scene he didn’t remember.

 _He paced the line of the ridge, bubbling with fury and frustration and just – how was he supposed to find enough to feed all the people his brother had brought back with him after his task (the task it took him a **year** to complete)? With their already strained resources he had enough difficulty making sure the entirety of their clan and his father’s ever-expanding disciples had enough to eat; how much worse would it be with all the new people? His only hope was that some of them would be willing to work around the settlement unlike his father’s disciples; and Hagoromo thought Indra (_Indra? _) had created Ninjutsu simply to gain power or subvert his father’s teachings, as if there hadn’t been more then enough need for other techniques if the disciples were to be fed and clothed and – gods but when would the Sage realize that an unfortunate side effect of living was expense, and peace the way the Sage did it was **very** expensive indeed. The man sighed and scrubbed at his face, sagging back into a tree until a soft rustle in the woods jerked his head up sharply, staring at the man stepping out of the woods into sight; he was tall and slender, dressed in loose layers of robes in cobalt blue and silver with a strip of dark cloth over his eyes, his moonlight skin and hair was **glowing** in the forest, like he had gathered and captured all the light from the heavens and become a walking star on the earth. Like the kami Indra had seen at a distance the luminescent man drifted closer, but unlike the kami he didn’t stop at a distance and instead was headed straight for Indra, the sense of concerned eyes on his overwhelming even with the slender man’s eyes covered._

 _“Madara?” the man asked in a soft, rich voice and Indra (_ Indra? But – what – he thought, Madara - _) frowned a bit at the man as he drifted closer “No, I – I’m Indra” he said slowly, unable to shake the feeling that he **knew** this man, that he should lung forward and grab the man into his arms and never – “Ah, of course, you’re name now is different. I should have realized” Indra frowned at that and opened his mouth to ask a question, but the man continued before he could, “will you tell me what’s the matter Indra? Something is bothering you”. Indra frowned a bit and shifted on his feet, tucking his hands away in his sleeves to hide the shake as he fisted them to keep from reaching out and grabbing one of the elegant hands in his own to draw the man to him, feeling a bit dizzy with the need to be closer. “It – its nothing” he forced out roughly, regretting his harshness immediately and wondering if this was when the man would leave, chased away by Indra’s grumpiness; instead the fey face cocked and the shinning man stepped closer, reaching out as though he was going to touch Indra’s cheek before stopping and dropping his hand instead, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t – its not my place I know”. And, **fuck,** no, that wasn’t – _

_“I didn’t – I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, please don’t **go** ” the last word felt as though it had been torn out of him and he wanted to choke on it, the fierce emotion soothed when an elegant hand landed on his arm; the slender man moving closer. “I won’t, I’ll stay as long as I can Indra, I promise. I can’t – I can’t tell you when I will be called away, but I’ll stay as long as I can, I don’t – I don’t want to leave you.” at those words Indra felt something warm and heady expand in his chest, tentative and uncertain, “Why? You don’t even know me” he rasped out and the thin well-formed mouth turned up in a sad smile, “Oh Indra, I do know you, I do. You just haven’t forgotten me yet” and that was without a doubt the most confusing thing anyone had said to him in his entire life – and that included all this father’s winding advice (always much more confusing than the reprimands). “I don’t understand” he breathed and the hand on Indra’s arm moved up and caressed the man’s cheek gently, so much affection in the touch that the Ōtsutsuki shook with it. _

_"I know you don’t dear heart, you will though, one day you will. Tell me what is bothering you?” and it was like those words- or this person- flipped a switch and all Indra’s walls shook to nothing and just like that all the worries and fears about his clan and his father and brother and their choices and all the future just poured out of him in a rush; spilling out at the man’s feet and gathered close as though Indra’s words and thoughts were the most important thing in the entire world to him and nothing mattered as much to him as Indra’s thoughts and hurts._

* * *

Amaterasu smiled a bit even through the exertion of holding time bent in on itself - stars and sky she hadn’t had this kind of exertion of her power since she ignited the sun! and honestly, how Hagoromo had missed that he had created his son out of the _stars_ (you know, like the _sun)_ and therefor out of Amaterasu’s power she didn’t know; he had wanted to avoid Indra having mother and then gone and _made him Amaterasu’s!_ asshole. Still, the hard work was worth it and, honestly, a good reminder of exactly what kind of power she had as the Queen of the Heavens; perhaps it had been too long since the gods had been allowed to be _gods_ and they had given up too much of their power and initiative. Well, that was going to _change,_ Amaterasu was well and truly done with Hagoromo’s shit and it was time for a reckoning even if it took a little more work on their part.

Thinking evil thoughts the goddess smirked as she checked the threads of time and dreaming stretched over her rarely used loom, making sure that the memory that Tobirama was walking in remained stable and safe (memory, dream, truth, all were flexible in the kami’s hands, sending Tobirama back to speak to Indra’s soul and then waking the new memory in _Madara’s_ soul to join the dreams of Madara’s past with Tobirama was a tricky task but well worth it for the continuity of care it would create in Madara and the potential for Tobirama to discover what it was that was influencing the Uchiha was something Amaterasu had great hopes for). A careful peek showed that a deeply confused Indra was completely focused on Tobirama and the Avatar was inching closer and closer with a hungry aching look on his face (gods, the poor dear); the same sort of look that he had worn when he had seen Madara in the shared dream (complicated, sending Tobirama into _present_ shared dreams with _Madara_ and also _past_ shared times with _Indra_ that she then woke in his present self…goodness she was glad Tobirama hadn’t asked many questions – or even questioned whether or not Madara was still alive, she wasn't sure what to do about that problem). An expression that made the goddess’s heart ache, her poor loyal Avatar, so badly used and hurt and in need of care; well- another peek showed her Indra’s fascinated transfixed look and the way he was telling the pale man anything and everything, secrets and fears and hopes just spilling out as he looked at Tobirama like the other man was something _celestial_ (which, he sort of _was_ ). Yes as soon as she could get them in the same place- in more than just a dream or memory- they would take care of the worst of the damage from each other and watched over by Amaterasu, and Konohanasakuya, and Rhiannon, and Ryu-o and – well, they would get better, just as soon as they were together.

" **You’re plotting sister”** Susanoo-no-Mikoto said quietly as he came up behind her (or, as quietly as he got, Amaterasu had heard him coming for a while now, but it hadn’t been worth getting suspicious over the way she used to), clearly trying not to distract her from the work she was doing to his credit. **“Does that make you nervous little brother? Worried I’ll break another one of your swords?”** Amaterasu purred halfheartedly, not actually paying that much attention to the kami of seas and storms as she tried to get a better look at how well Tobirama was doing through the shimmering veils of golden memory. Susanoo-no-Mikoto snorted, sounding a bit exasperated when he spoke **“Not worried about my swords, just wondering how you are planning to get around the prohibition of the God Tree if you think you are going to go against the Sage, or how you are planning to steal your son back when he is still tied to the tree and not part of the world all the way – and yes I know its not Indra’s fault that he was prevented from joining the wheel or us here. Still, until the God Tree has released him he is not yours and none of the those that carry the taint of the tree belong to us – like the Sage”**.

The Goddess snarled and shot him a venomous look but didn’t let him distract her from holding the time weaving steady for as long as Tobirama was strong enough to travers the span of time. **“Fuck off asshole. I know the prohibition from that damn Tree, why do you think I made an Avatar first and sent Ryu-o to speak with the bijuu? The dragon is more likely to get through to them without notice, but they have shaken off the influence of the Tree; as much as I hate the way they were treated I have to admit being shoved in mortals has washed off the last of the Tree’s pollution and made them within our power. That will be a bit of a shock for them, I doubt they have had much time to think about the kami or consider whether we can act in the world. Given that we never have before.”**

The weaving hummed like a plucked harp and Susanoo-no-Mikoto hissed sharply, twitching forward a bit with a cut off exclamation as Tobirama gasped in the weaving and Amaterasu swore sharply fingers moving quickly to unmake the hole in in time as Indra exclaimed and dove for the clearly unwell man; the two muttering to each other as Tobirama tried to get a bit of an explanation out before the weaving was undone and – _there,_ the world shivered as the Avatar was returned to the palace of the Queen of Heaven. Amaterasu swore again and bent over the too-thin too-pale figure of her sweet Avatar, ignoring Susanoo-no-Mikoto’s shocked exclamation as the large man leaned over Tobirama; careful to keep out of his sister’s way lest he lose something he didn’t want to (he much loved beard at best and… _other_ things much harder to regrow if he pissed her off). **“Fuck”** the kami muttered **“this is –“ “Because they aren’t together and because _someone_ interfered with my instructions on the Uchiha’s Tablet, it has gone farther than you think Susanoo-no-Mikoto; the Sage isn’t just passively in our way, he is actively acting in ways that keep the influence of the God Tree and its prohibition between us and the shinobi lands. I know you were angry when they woke to chakra and learned to use it without us, but I think _this_ is plenty of proof that we have more than enough influence even without that and turning away from these lands is not the answer. Or are you planning to let your Uzumaki get wiped out? I know you love that clan brother, and I can tell you I have seen a _terrible_ future for them as I wove this dreaming.”**

The big kami sucked in a sharp breath and moved back a little as Amaterasu made sure Tobirama was comfortable and no worse off for his jaunt though time- thank the sky and soil for his Hiraishin making him accustomed to moving through planes of existence- luckily he seemed alright if exhausted and heartsore. If only there was a way to do this without hurting him more!

With a sigh Amaterasu sat back on her heels, petting strands of snowy hair out of the vulpine face and brushing a finger over the edge of the fine silk bandages over his eyes, **“He’ll be ok?”** the sun kami snorted at her brother’s question and tucked the covers over Tobirama a little tighter. **“Yes, for now, for a little longer. But he is growing so weak…oh my child.”** With a sharp shake of her head the goddess rose to her feet and turned to level her brother with a sharp gaze **“Now, what do you want Susanoo-no-Mikoto, why are you here?”** at that the other kami flinched a bit and looked away for a moment, clearly thinking. **“You say something is going to happen to the Uzumaki? I – and they wouldn’t be able to appeal to me for help”** she could see him thinking, torn between his old habits and his affection for the wild sea people **“they wouldn’t be able to ask for help.”** And that was Susanoo-no-Mikoto making a choice, Amaterasu could see the decision in the way he squared his shoulders **“I came from Tsukuyomi, oh stop, its well past time you get over that, Ukemochi died a long time ago and no matter how much you torment him you don’t care that he cares for Kaguya and are more than willing to enable him courting her – yes I know Hamura will have to be talked to for that, but it’s _your_ sister he married and had kids with even if he only sees her part of the time, even with Wakahirume and him both dead he will listen to you. And anyway that’s not the point, Kaguya can wait we’re dealing with her spoiled brat and I’m trying to tell you Tsukuyomi wants to help; you’re not the only person that has been watching, you’re just the one that gets blocked the most. Tsukuyomi has seen them and found himself moved, when he heard that you were gathering to go against the Sage for them he knew he had to help, we both know he’s quite the romantic under the bluster”** at that Amaterasu huffed a laugh, unable to disagree with that (and unsurprised that her former husband had seen the bond between Tobirama and Madara and been moved by it; she dared anyone to see them together and not be bewitched).

 **“Yes, that’s true. I – you’re right, just this once I suppose you are right; and anyway I will take all the help I can get, not that I _need_ it to deal with the rat-bastard, but I’ll take anything I can get to help me flatten him into such a broken mush he can never touch my children again.”** At that Susanoo-no-Mikoto snorted, rolling his eyes to hide his relief as he responded to the sun goddess, **“Why don’t you just make them kami in their own right? then at least Hagoromo can never touch them again without them being about to fight back”** and at that Amaterasu paused, the idea sparking in her head **“ _Oh”_** she breathed, **“now _that’s_ an idea”**.


	6. naming of things

Madara woke and _screamed_ , his one good eye aching and the memories already fading without his own Sharingan to back up the memories he had made with them; taking Izuna’s eyes hadn’t wiped out the memories he had made with his eyes, but they had become…fainter, harder to access in great clarity and sometimes polluted with Izuna’s lingering viewpoints (if only Madara had sat down and cleared out Izuna’s Sharingan when he first implanted them, at the time had hadn’t been able to do anything that might feel like- _“You just want to get rid of me Madara! You want to erase me, get me out of your way so you can go back to your white whore-“_ -well, Madara hadn’t wanted to lose what was left of his brother and the chakra pollution hadn’t seemed so bad after that). But he hadn’t realized how badly his memories had been corrupted by the eye-swap, hadn’t realized until he was dreaming of Tobirama that he had forgotten the exact shade of his skin; the specific tone of his voice as he called Madara dear. The thought was like a knife through the heart and Madara doubled over in agony as he realized that he couldn’t recall the exact shape of his beloved’s smile anymore and with a wounded noise Madara scrambled for the sealing scroll he never let go far from him and whined when it slid through his shaking fingers, rolling across the floor and out of the cave just as a cockerel crowed outside.

In an unsteady rush the Uchiha lurched to his feet and stumbled out the entrance after the scroll into the rising sunlight, freezing as he saw that there was a snowy white cockerel was standing on top of the sealing scroll, watching him with over-bright eyes. Slowly Madara collapsed, sagging into the wall at the lip of the cave as he was wracked with emotion making his chakra writhe and looking at the beady dark eyes Madara would swear that there was something… _more_ to the bird “Please, I need that, I can’t lose it” he rasped out, not sure why he was _talking_ to a bird but willing to try anything. Still, the bird seemed to think about it and then lean in closer and - “ **What will you give me for it?** _”_ the bird asked and Madara- delirious with exhaustion and heartbreak made new with dreaming and then losing- striped off a glove before reaching up and digging his fingers in around his blind eye, the one he had sacrificed to use the Izanagi and survive his argument with Hashirama. The awful snapping of nerves and sucking sound as he ripped the eye free hardly even registered as he held out the blind Sharingan to the white cockerel, one of Izuna’s eyes pulled right out of his head without a thought – he had been planning to replace Izuna’s blind eye with one of Madara’s old eyes since he woke up anyway, hoping that it would bring back his memories of his beloved (that was why he had kept them after all, not able to get rid of the eyes that had first seen Tobirama smile and washed in pleasure).

The bird twitched and Madara had the oddest sense that if it could it would be gaping at Madara in shock as it looked from his blood soaked face to the equally blood soaked hand and back for a moment before hopping off the scroll and inching closer, nudging the scroll along in front of it as Madara watched with hungry eyes; forcing himself not to reach out and snatch it away as soon as it was close enough only with great difficulty. “ **Well, uh, _shit_ , that works, yeah, talk about drastic kid. _Fuck_ , um how about I-**“ with that the bird pecked at the seal on the scroll and Madara reached out to open it and then the second half for the compartment that held his own old eyes, but before he could lift the left one out to fill the empty socket in Madara’s head the bird hopped forward and did… _something_ , Madara couldn’t see quite what, but it hardly mattered when after the cockerel nudged the eye closer and after Madara lifted it the bird drifted closer, picking up the blind eye in one taloned foot while watching Madara carefully arrange the eye in his socket before taking a deep breath and dumping a _huge_ volume of chakra into the chakra coils behind his eye in a clumsy method of healing transplant (one all Uchiha knew even if it was normally avoided at all costs for the help of a healer which was a much better way of healing a transplant and much less likely to leave lingering problems).

The bird was muttering Madara realized dimly, swearing and cussing as Madara’s chakra coils reconnected to his old, damaged eye (it didn’t matter to Madara how much his old eyes had hurt him- when Tobirama wasn’t around to sooth the ache- or how bad his vision with them had been, these were the eyes that knew his love and that was all that mattered). It was _agonizing_ but as soon as the lines sealed Madara _reached_ (the memory pathways were a bit dim and patchy with only one eye, but still so much clearer than they had been) and there was – _(Tobirama was laughing at him, doubled over with mirth and so beautiful that Madara didn’t even care that he was being laughed at as long as Tobirama looked like this; glad and alive and free from pain and fear for once. “M-madara, oh gods of waters I can’t – hahahaha – I can’t believe you did that! Dear heart, I do wish I had seen it! Oh not to laugh, or – not to laugh at first. I’m sure it was very funny when you started paying drunk and coming on to the old woman but I would have quite enjoyed seeing you dressed as a slave dancer from Wind” and the laughter had mellowed into a sort of heat Madara knew well by now and adored, maybe he would have to dress up for his lover sometime if it would make Tobirama look like that)_ – Tobirama, beautiful and alive and his and _alive,_ not dead in the dirt while that _scum_ got ready to –

“ **Uh, kido? You ok?** ” dimly Madara nodded, grasping the now- had the _bird_ closed it?- closed scroll with his right eye and sealed second compartment closer and gathering it to his chest as he stared out into the trees blankly, hardly even registering when the bird took off and flew away with the blind eye in it’s talons muttering and cursing and heading toward the sun.

* * *

_Indra was pacing again, as usual only this time he was hoping – “Indra” the relief was overwhelming as the soft voice curled around the Ōtsutsuki and he smiled without thinking as he turned to face the slender figure stepping out of the trees, biting back a flash of worry at the careful way he was moving already aware that the man wouldn’t explain anything; just smiling and touching Madara’s cheek gently before redirecting the conversation when asked (and Indra was too afraid of chasing him off to push). “how often do you come out and do this Indra?” the pale man asked quietly, reaching to curl his fingers in Madara’s sleeve; the same tentative reaching out for contact that Indra had noticed before and always made his chest ache even as he twisted his hand and tangled their fingers together. All of his frustrations easing up when he saw the small, pleased smile on To’ra’s pale lips (stars and sky Indra wished he could see what color the covered eyes were!) “Hello celestial,” the Ōtsutsuki murmured “I was wondering if I was going to see you again” the albino clicked his tongue gently and nudged their joined hands into him “I already told you, you can call me To’ra-“ (“I like celestial better” the Ōtsutsuki mumbled, pouting) “-oh hush, I am sorry I can’t make you any promises. I wish I could, but I never know when I will be called back or when my energy will allow me to return-“ words that sent cold fear flashing down Indra’s spine, was visiting him hurting To’ra? The last thing he wanted was to hurt the other man, the first person that had ever truly **listened** to him and cared about what Indra had to say or thought; To’ra cared about Indra’s fears and worries and always took them seriously and they may have only met each other a few times but Indra already adored the other man and held him dear._

_As if on cue pain lanced through Indra’s head, like being struck with an arrow behind his left eye and he doubled over with a pained gasp that trailed off into a relived whine as elegant hands caught him, and one moved up to press to his temple while glowing a pale green. Oh stars and sky that felt **amazing,** “Oh you really are kami given celestial” he rasped, feeling lose and floaty with the sudden receding pain; soft chuckles greeted those words and the glowing fingers combed back over his scalp, spreading the cool comfort on every pass, “Well, that’s true, but in a rather more literal way than you are thinking I think. But ignore that for now, can you tell me why your head had been hurting you so much pet? What going on?” blurrily Indra nuzzled closer and slumped over To’ra with a happy mumble, willing to do just about anything as long as it kept To’ra close._

Sleeping alone and blood smeared, a tear pooled in Madara’s left eye, slipping past his lashes and cutting a clean swath through the tacky blood there.


	7. crow at dawn

Tobirama curled deeper into the piles of blankets on his bed, leaning heavily against the wall as he sat and trying to ignore the chill that had crawled into his bones and left him feeling cold no matter the temperature or blankets Touka piled on him (he only felt warm when he was with – _ah_ , well, nevermind). At the table on the engawa Konohana laughed brightly, a lighter higher reflection of Madara’s laugh that made Tobirama’s heart skip a beat; if only Madara was here and not held out from Amaterasu-hime’s reach, it would be so good for him to see his mother and laugh with her. Tucking blankets up around himself farther Tobirama let himself indulge in the fantasy of having Madara here with him, he could almost imagine the Uchiha sitting with his mother and laughing as she told him stories about his father and fussed over whether he was hungry in the extremely understated way she had (Konohana had a gift for subtlety mother henning in such an elegant way that it was only after you had been bunded into new softer clothing and a bed with tea and a snack in your hand you realized she was a mother hen at all).

Imagining the older man conversing over chakra theory with the kami and relaxing with the peace and calm _space_ that came from the Sun Goddess’s palace, that was Tobirama’s dream; having Madara close enough he could watch the older man being happy and pleased and know Madara was alright (Tobirama would never even dream that Madara would want to return to their old relationship, he rather hoped the Uchiha continued to forget him – maybe if Madara forgot Tobirama entirely he could see the Uchiha without it hurting Madara). Tobirama hated to think that Madara was out there somewhere alone and stuck with Hashirama and the father that didn’t value him, even if he didn’t want to see Tobirama he should be with his clan and mother (and little brother maybe). (Tobirama was banking on the goddess and Konohana straightening out the Uchiha and may or may not have told Konohana all the shit about Izuna and Madara’s relationship that had bothered the albino for _years_ while they were together. The Uchiha lady had felt rather grim after that conversation and swept away on brisk footsteps that made Tobirama a bit more hopeful for Madara having his brother back in a healthier way ((he knew he should be looking for a way for Hashirama to see Madara again but after – _Madara, crumbled in the water and his chakra burning out and – NO nononononononnono_ – **after,** Tobirama wasn’t letting Hashirama anywhere _near_ Madara if he had any influence he could pull to stop it)).)

Sighing he snuggled down farther, letting the super soft furs consume him as he shook with another round of shivers, mind drifting back ( _Tobirama was all but purring in the sun on the heavy fur Madara had given him that he kept sealed on his person for when they could meet up, today was going to be a good day he thought; the sun was warm but not too hot and the clan- and father- had been calm enough that Tobirama wasn’t even bruised anywhere! “Happy sweetheart?” Madara’s voice called Tobirama out of his thoughts and he opened his eyes to look at the older teen through his lashes like a lazy cat, shifting ever so slightly so as soon as Madara was close enough he could **pounce** and drag the Uchiha down to curl up on the fur with him, draping himself over the Uchiha like a giant cat and humming deep in his throat as Madara chuckled and the tension in his strong frame slowly easing away. Taking over as clan head hadn’t been easy on him and Tobirama was learning to be even more grateful for what time they could find together than he had before – and even more grateful he was the person that could bring Madara joy and calm, he refused to stop being that for his lover._) (He was wrong, in time he not only stopped being that for Madara he became quite the opposite; in time all Madara had to do was get a glimpse of Tobirama for his chakra to go into turmoil and the old peace well and truly gone; it was small comfort that Indra found some calm in Tobirama, though the albino was sure it wouldn’t last, it never did with him. The darker thoughts spread and shifted and)

( _Tobirama was terrified as he ran his hands down Madara’s limbs in a fast check, unable to speak through the roiling thoughts and fears; how could Madara have put himself in that kind of danger?! Didn’t he understand how badly that could have gone? How badly he could have been hurt? awkwardly Tobirama felt disjointed words trip over his tongue as fear turned harsh and Madara snapped back in response, knocking Tobirama’s hands off him with snarled words about how ‘he wasn’t smarter then all of them’ and other bitter words and – it was an argument with Izuna- it was almost always an argument with Izuna- and Madara apologized later but Tobirama was well aware that his tendency to shut down when upset or stressed hadn’t made things any better; if he could have just found the right things to **say-!** Madara hadn’t wanted to hear it and had just gathered Tobirama close, slowly explaining and tangling them like they would never be parted -)_

“Tobirama, _Tobirama!_ ” startled the albino blinked dizzily and tilted his head towards Konohana where the lady was near his feet, about to ask what was going on when the door opened and familiar paw-pads entered the room, grabbing all of Tobirama’s attention. In a rush Tobirama tried to lurch up and was stopped as the world spun and Konohana pressed down on his legs to keep him down as he gasped out _“Akira!”_ the large snow leopard chuffed and Tobirama heard her approach and spit something out on his feet before moving up his body and nudging into Tobirama, thoroughly distracting him from anything else – even the light squawking weight on his feet. (Though, it did seem to be swearing at everyone in the room and Akira in particular, which was entertaining.)

Gods but it was good to see her, he loved his mother and Konohana was wonderful but it was _Akira_ that had raised him and been at his side though the dark times of his childhood like when Hashirama stopped talking to him or father's temper snapped; it was Akira that had carried messages to Madara and listen to Tobirama talk about him and been with him as he wept when Izuna died (Tobirama hadn’t been able to call for her after Madara died, he had been to broken to even find the words for anything but official matters after that). “What are you doing here?” he asked softly into a fuzzy ear, the snow leopard giving back the warmth that had been lost at least a little; Akira snorted and chuffed in his ear “Came to see you of course cub, the kami got me here and it’s not easy so I can’t come often but you can come and visit me when you get your mate back and get stronger.” “Akira-“ “Nope. None of that, you are getting your mate back if it takes every summons I have even the smallest amount of pull with!” and that….with Akira being the lead summons of the leopards she had a great deal of power indeed; even the two other big cat summons leaders would listen to Akira in deference to her age and wisdom. And the thing was…Akira had never lied to him, not _once_ even when it would have made him feel better so if she said that Madara was going to be freed and allowed to see his loved ones Tobirama…had to believe her, at least a little.

“I’m guessing Amaterasu-hime has told you her suspicions and worries about outside influence?” he asked, sagging into the big cat as Akira licked his head once before she answered, “Yes, and what your suspicions are from meeting with Indra-mate in the past which is quite helpful. I think the feather duster-“ “ **I am not a feather duster!** ” something at the end of the bed interjected in a loud crow and Tobirama sent his senses flashing out only to come up short at the feel of the….being perched on his bed. “What-?” his baffled whisper made Akira snort again as she curled around her summoner with her big head in his lap, her voice rumbling his bones as she spoke “ _That_ is a divine animal, used as messengers of the kami- and spies- they are gifted power by the kami and do tasks for them and in return are considered sacred to the mortals. Not shinobi of course, but civilians. Either way the feather duster is a sacred cockerel, he acts in Amaterasu-ōmikami’s name and –“ at that point she was interrupted by the bird in a loud, proud voice.

“ ** _I_ was assigned to watch over Amaterasu-ōmikami’s son and make sure he’s ok and not dying or something and-**“ but whatever else the bird was saying was lost in the roaring in Tobirama’s ears; ‘not dying’? What-? Madara was _already_ dead!...right? (only, hadn’t there been times Tobirama had sworn he could feel his love and clung the that on the edges of sleep? Only to later try and chase the phantom presence and find it slipping through his fingers and come _again_ to the conclusion that Madara was still dead and lost Tobirama; it was nothing more than a mirage of a grieving mind, created by Tobirama’s inability let Madara go. But now…what if-?) a flurry of chakra and rustling silk and Amaterasu-hime was suddenly in the room, saying **“Tobirama-“** before the albino interrupted her to everyone’s shock “Is it true? Madara – he’s dead. I _know_ he’s dead.... right?” at the last words his voice broke (if Madara wasn’t dead then he had seen Tobirama morn him and hidden himself away, then he hadn’t cared about what Tobirama might feel about his death or ever wanted to see the albino ever again; he had chosen to leave Tobirama behind like so much discarded trash – but then how could Tobirama have ever expected anything differently? Had he _really_ thought that Madara would want him near after everything? That Madara would feel better anywhere Tobirama was in sight, a threat around the corner – and none of that even mattered when all Tobirama could think about was how much pain Madara must be in if he was still living. At least if he had died he might have been allowed some little rest and space even if he couldn’t be with his loved ones, but if he was still _alive-! Oh gods,_ he must be in so much pain _._ )

Lost in his thoughts Tobirama drew his fingers back out of Akira’s fur, shivering and washed out, swaying as he was lost in a dark spiral even as the large summons nudged his hands, standing to nip at the albino and muttering to him as she tried to jar him from his thoughts and to no avail. Swearing sharply Amaterasu darted over and kneeled at his side in a flurry of silks, tapping at his cheeks to try and wake him and then pressing two fingers to his forehead until he shuddered and slumped unconscious, his shivering easing up as he was forced out of thoughts and down into the dark. **“Oh child, I never wanted you to find out like this, I knew you would jump to a conclusion like this.”** the goddess’s eyes were sad on the pale form before she turned a baleful look on her sacred animal “ **You cockerel, you had better have something worth telling if you are going to walk around in my home not watching your mouth!”** at the goddess’s words the white cockerel quailed, shredding feathers as it recoiled, too afraid to speak in the face of her anger. “Amaterasu-ōmikami, surely that’s not needed. Tobirama was bound to find out eventually, it was nothing more than an unfortunate mistake.” Konohanasakuya’s voice was calm and settled as the lady moved over to the bed and started pulling the blankets up around Tobirama (neatly hiding the cockerel in her skirt as she did) until the sun goddess started helping tuck the frail looking man in (Konohanasakuya hated it Amaterasu could see, and so did she; Tobirama was supposed to be strong and vital and burning with life, not pale and all but transparent with grief and heartsickness).

With a sigh Amaterasu smoothed the lay of the covers over her Avatar and nodded to the grim looking summons before turning a more moderate look on the cockerel and saying in a more measured voice, **“Alright, explain”** then she paused as she got a better look at the bird, leaning in to peer at it **“what-? what did you do with all your gifted divinity!? I gave you enough to watch over Madara- which was no small amount- and you have lost _all_ of it?” ** at that oddly the bird puffed up a bit and shuffled out from behind Konohanasakuya’s skirts looking quite proud of itself and clearing its throat self-importantly. **“Kami-hime-sama”** oh stars and sky Amaterasu had forgotten about this bird **“I passed on the spark you gave me to your divine son! Which you did say I should do if I could Lady Sun, he had himself two sets of eyes and wanted to swap his out- is that a mortal thing? I didn’t know mortals did that! such strange critters two-leggers- but the ones not in his head were a bit so-so so I zhuzhed them up a bit didn’t I! Just like you said Kami-sama-hime, I made him sparkly again didn’t I?”** ah, right, this was why Amaterasu rarely mingled with her sacred animals (if only she could have had something a bit smarter than a bunch of cocks!), still that was _very_ interesting.

 **“Madara had a second set of eyes with him? were they red like the ones in his head?”** at Amaterasu’s question the bird nodded vigorously, though it was a bit of a dumb question; honestly why would Madara have a pair of eyes that _weren’t_ Sharingan? Much less swap them out **“Alright, you made sure the new eye was good? that’s something then, I wonder –“ “Hime-kami-sama! He gave me the old one! He pulled it right out of his head, like _*pop! Snap! schlurp*_ and handed it right to me before he put the one from the scroll in and I brought it all the way back to you! Yes I did!”** and that was…. _fuck._ that was just….gods her poor bright child, to just – pull out an eye like it was _nothing_ …Behind her Konohanasakuya had sunk to sit next to Tobirama and ducked her head, breathing slow and careful and looking rather more like Tobirama than was at all healthy. Not that Amaterasu could blame her, hearing about Madara _pulling out and eye_ and the implications for his mental health…well it was just as well Tobirama was unconcise in the goddess’s opinion.

 **“And do you still have the eye?”** she asked faintly, holding out a hand when the bird nodded and handed over what was inarguably an Uchiha eye – but _not_ Madara’s eye, interesting…oh it had clearly been in Madara’s head, but it hadn’t been born there, hadn’t Tobirama mentioned Madara taking Izuna’s eyes? She hadn’t considered it much at the time but now it had _all_ sorts of interesting implications; especially since the eye Madara had put back in must have been one of his old ones which could only be a good thing for his mental health in the long run – especially since it would have been healed by the divine spark passed on by the cockerel. Which he _had_ been instructed to do, Amaterasu just hadn’t anticipated it being passed on quite like this. Still, this old eye with a bit of power applied to unlock its secrets could tell Amaterasu quite a lot, absently the goddess touched the bird and passed on another divine spark (though a markedly lesser one) and then touched Tobirama to pass on the beginning of another time weaving to the albino – perhaps Indra could calm her Avatar while she probed the the secrets of Izuna’s eye (they were getting closer, she could _taste_ it).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the cockerel is scared to Amaterasu and in her big myth where she hides in a cave a cockerel calls the dawn in front of the cave in hopes of calling her out.  
> The idea of the magical animal that gives boons for trade is OLD in myth and fairytails, there is frequent stories about helping animals or giving them things and getting a gift or help in return so it seemed to fit here and be a way the kami could keep an eye on Madara (after all the bird is mortal, so not bound by the prohibition of the God Tree).


	8. awaken the kyuubi

_Indra leaned farther over his scroll, trying to make his eyes focus in the dimming light as he worked through the inventory of the clan with To’ra’s suggestions about trade in tucked away in the back of his head; it was hard to implement any of the other man’s suggestions with the political world the way it was, but Indra appreciated the effort to help. It was…wonderful to have someone try and help and care that Indra was stressed and constantly struggling, and it was To’ra’s ideas that had made Asura’s new friends sustainable at all. With a sigh Indra sat back, resigned to the numbers not reconciling and rubbing at the ache in his chest (when was he going to see To’ra again? It had already been quite a lot of time since To’ra had come by last and Indra had put off Zetsu several times already in hopes that To’ra would show up - as he had told the other man, no one noticed when Indra slipped away, especially not with his brother announcing he intended to marry Kanna as soon as possible._

_“Brother?” Indra started at the soft voice with its slightly rasping undertones and was already smiling as he turned to look at one of his brothers – possibly his favorite anymore if he was being honest. Kurama was sitting neatly in the door watching Indra with huge red-orang eyes and shuffling his paws a bit and peering at the Ōtsutsuki uncertainly (still hadn’t grown into his paws or ears, poor kit! The bijuu seemed to be maturing quite a bit slower than mortals or Indra and Asura, it had been a while since Indra had seen Kurama after the kit wandered off to get a look at the world- Indra wished that he could have gone with, but he couldn’t leave the clan). “Kurama!” the man called, much cheered as he rose and walked swiftly over to drag the nine-tails into a tight hug, a knot of stress unwinding in his chest at the feel of all that fluffy fur and fizzing chakra pressed close. (Unaware of exactly how shocked Kurama was to be greeted to warmly and openly, last time the kyuubi had seen the older Ōtsutsuki he had been withdrawn and tense, paranoid and stressed and always waiting for an attack and Kurama had understood why but it had **hurt,** and he hadn’t wanted to be around it. But this Indra was closer to the older brother Kurama had grown up with, kind and clever and stressed yes but not waiting for Kurama to hurt him. So what had changed?)_

_Indra drew back and grinned at his sibling, ruffling the too-large ears to the kyuubi’s snarling displeasure and about the start asking questions when he **felt** the world shift slightly under his feet and just **knew** – everything else forgotten Indra launched himself out the door of his study, bouncing off the wall and diving through a window in a rush to get to the ridge as fast he could, ignoring Kurama’s scrambling paw-pads after him. He burst into the clearing on the ridge they normally met up in and his heart clawed into his throat when he saw a faintly glowing figure collapsed in a pile of blue and silver silks and wild snowy hair, “To’ra!” the Ōtsutsuki gasped, lunging to drop and kneel next to the shivering form; sliding his hands down the long limbs and checking his spine before turning him and gathering the albino close, desperate to know what was going on. “To’ra, To’ra, celestial, wake up, come on celestial, wake up” franticly Indra tapped at the gray-ish cheek, fear climbing through him when he got no response until Kurama slunk over and nosed at the white hair, a bright spark of chakra leaping from his snout to To’ra, followed a moment later by a bettering of his color though the shivers got worse (which was fine, as long as he was shivering he wasn’t dead and that was all Indra needed). “Thank you” the Ōtsutsuki rasped out, clutching the albino closer as To’ra curled into him with a barely audible breath of Indra’s name “thank you.”_

* * *

Far away and only seconds apart Kurama snapped awake in the dim sealing space inside the sea-bitch and stared sightlessly into the distance, what was that? Kurama remember that, he remembered coming back from a wander and going to find his older brother and finding Indra leaning over piles of scrolls looking stressed but – had Indra greeted him with a hug? And…Kurama would have sworn that the pale man hadn’t been there, he had never had that conversation with Indra over the pale man as the Ōtsutsuki cuddled the man close, had never spoken to a few words to the pale man before leaving because he felt like he was interrupting. He had never spent hours wandering through the clan confused as to how no one else had noticed the change in Indra or mentioned the pale man, he had never – or had he? this – this didn’t make any sense. Something was changing the past, but what was possibly strong enough to do that? and how? and _why_? (and who was the pale man?)

Unsettled Kurama shifted in the confines of the seal space, his unease growing the longer he considered the look on Indra’s face and the way he had looked at the pale, shinning man; that was a look of _complete_ devotion, the sort of look that Kurama hadn’t known people wore and a reflection of an emotion he had the strangest sensation he had seen before….hmmm.

So absorbed in his considering Kurama didn’t notice at first that his disquiet had called the sea-bitch into the seal space, ignoring her until she softly asked what was bothering him (in retrospect Kurama wanted to _bite_ her, oh all it took was him being disquieted about something and Mito comes down to ask how he was but all his raging at being trapped and forced to bow like this deserved no acknowledgement?!) and then snapping harshly as he tried to figure out – “Devoted? Perhaps you are remembering something from Madara, if there was ever an embodiment of devotion it was Tobirama to Madara- not that the Uchiha could seem to see it after Izuna was killed- and he was extremely pale, an albino” wait, back up, albino and devoted and Madara? (Why did Madara and Indra seem paired in his memory? Was there anything tying them together? Why did it feel like there should be?) Narrowing his eyes Kurama lowered his head to peer menacingly at the red-head “Tell me” he demanded harshly, relived when though Mito raised a red brow she complied, folding her hands together and starting slowly to tell the story of Tobirama Senju as best she knew it (distantly Kurama thought that she must have been searching to someone to tell this story to for a long time, it was as if the story had been building up like water behind a dam waiting to rush out and make at least one person understand the truth of Tobirama’s heart).

It was far and away the longest Kurama had ever spent with Mito, much less talking with her and he was a little surprised at the honest clean way she told her brother in law’s story, and at the depth of the emotion in it; backed by flashes of memory leaking through Mito’s normally iron control. Wait, alarmed Kurama straightened up a bit and then forced himself to crouch again to listen, hoping for another flash of whoever the pale man had been and stiffening when he got a good look at them. They looked different in Mito’s memories, focused and aware and vibrantly alive with the heady attentiveness in the red eyes Kurama hadn’t seen in his new memories covered as they had been. Still, there was no mistaking that vulpine face and the red slashes on cheekbones and chin; somehow this man- Tobirama? Hadn’t Indra called his man To’ra?- who was _dead_ , had managed to twist time in on itself and interact with Kurama’s favorite brother. Well _shit._ Kurama hadn’t missed the look on the man’s face as he curled into Indra or Indra’s face when he saw To’ra, if that was combined with Tobirama’s devotion to _Madara…._ Kurama had noticed that Madara was more than a little unstable when the Uchiha trapped him with his Sharingan, connections…connections…(and why had Kurama never been able to scrounge up as much hate at the Uchiha as he should have? He should hate the man and just…didn’t, was it the insanity?)

“Kurama” startled out of his thoughts he blinked at Mito a blankly, speaking without thinking “Can two people be one person?” and then rather wishing he could hide his snout at the stupid question. To his surprise though Mito just tilted her head thoughtfully, seeming to think it over carefully (like Indra had always done no matter how silly the kyuubi’s questions when he was a kit, and they had been pretty silly Kurama admitted), “Are they alive at the same time? No? Then maybe, reincarnation or something like it might work to allow the same soul to be two different people” and that…..well shit. Careful Kurama turned this over in his head, unconsciously titling his head as he considered Mito’s words thoroughly (ignoring the flop of his ears, he _still_ hadn’t grown into them – not that he was going to admit that to anyone but Indra), reincarnation, huh, he knew the wheel of souls did exist and that reincarnation was a thing but after Indra’s soul had taken so much damage in his life Kurama had assumed that Indra wouldn’t join the wheel or would be remade completely and therefore have little to nothing in common with Indra of old when he was reborn but…what if he was wrong? What if Indra _had_ been brought back?

The idea cheered the Kyuubi rather a lot, having thought he would never see his brother again, but it was also rather worrying, after all what were the chances that Indra would have been brought back gently and with care to his soul? _Especially_ if the Sage was involved, Kurama loved his father dearly but even he could admit that the man hadn’t been a great dad to Indra – or anyone that didn’t fit his ideas in general really. But if Indra was going to come back, well, what better match could there be than Madara? Kurama might not have spent _that_ much time with the Uchiha but what he had…well it fit with a reincarnated Indra if no one tried to heal his soul and just chucked him back to life without any help or tending and then added another life of trauma and pain on top of it all. On the other hand if that was correct that also meant that Madara had found love (and lost it, but Kurama was willing to bet that Tobirama wasn’t putting up with that; not if he was finding ways through time back to an earlier version of his lover _after his own death_ , damn) and Kurama well remembered how badly Indra had wanted someone to belong to, so there were few things he would have wished for his brother more than that.

Slowly- mostly just to think out loud- Kurama explained his suspicions about Madara/Indra and Tobirama, rather more pleased than he should have been when the sea-witch listened attentively and offered a wry “Well if anyone could find a way to go back in time and break the world just to see Madara again it would be Tobirama” in agreement. It was weird having someone listen to him (especially someone that _had trapped him in them in a seal!_ ) and no matter how angry Kurama was at her he wasn’t so foolish as to alienate or ignore the only ally he could have in helping his brother. Because Kurama _was_ going to help his big brother! Indra had helped him and cared about him when he was a kit and there hadn’t been anything Kurama could do in return; not when Indra’s problems had been so much bigger than Kurama at the time. But now Kurama was _very_ big indeed and he was going to help his poor broken brother! Which might mean working with the sea-witch. Hmm. Well, drat. He’d have to just deal with it, Indra was worth it. His _brother_ was worth it.


	9. red nebula

Tobirama was staring blankly out the window when he distantly heard someone at his door, hesitating at the entrance rather than entering all the way – not that Tobirama could find any energy to care, ever since finding out that Madara was _still alive_ and suffering Tobirama’s mind had been thoroughly distracted by the knowledge of his beloved’s suffering and his own inability to do anything other than gathering information from Indra and hoping that Amaterasu-hime could do something more permanent. She was a _kami_ and loved Madara, she wouldn’t leave him alone _pulling eyes out_ and Tobirama had to trust that, he _had_ to.

“Um, Senju? Tobirama?” the uncertain voice from the door stirred the albino a bit but only sent him deeper into his thoughts ( _“are you ok ‘dara?” the Uchiha was twitchy and stressed looking, clearly struggling with something, he sagged at Tobirama’s question and touch in a way that worried Tobirama deeply. “I’m….fine, its just – Izuna. He doesn’t agree with some of my choices recently and is getting worse about keeping disagreements behind closed doors” Madara murmured, tilting his head into Tobirama’s hands as the albino gently started rubbing at his temples and threading healing chakra through his fingers to sooth the tension headache and eye strain. “I’m sorry ‘dara” the Senju whispered, unable to do anything else; he had no advice for Madara that the older man would hear- he never listened if he thought Tobirama was criticizing Izuna, which was fair if frustrating- and Madara couldn’t tell him details about the Uchiha anyway, that was something they had agreed upon a long time ago. Even if they trusted each other- and Tobirama thought they did- it was just safer not to risk anything or end up feeling like traitors to their clans._

_“’s ok” Madara murmured “’s better with you, its always better with you” and at that Tobirama felt a truly stupid look overtake his face, heart warming and growing light at the affection and trust in the Uchiha’s voice; as always reduced to soft joy by Madara’s care, all his own stress and anxiety soothed at least for a bit under Madara’s attention. Carefully the albino cupped Madara’s face, fingers remaining at his temples as he leaned down and kissed him slow and lingering; humming in pleasure as Madara’s hand smoothed over his sides and back in firm caresses that left tingling trails in their wake. A stroke down his back smoothed over his tail bone and he shivered, purring into the Uchiha’s mouth and melting into him as the kiss turned hotter and deeper, more than happy to follow the Uchiha down and spend their time in more pleasurable pursuits, forgetting the rest of the world.)_

“Senju?” footsteps moving uncertainly closer “hey, you ignoring me? I mean, I sort of deserve that I admit, like _shit_ did I screw up with you and stuff and mother says that my – well that I was part of the reason that Madara we- _shit, fuck, oh kami-_ “ the icy anger in Tobirama’s soul flared again and the tea he had wrapped around the _pest’s_ throat tightened and got colder as he hissed out words he was only vaguely aware of “ _Don’t you dare say his name!”_ “Ok, ok, fine, I won’t,-“ Tobirama let the water go and with it his strength and concentration, anything else Izuna had to say going unheeded as the albino slipped under the waves of memory again; too tired to fight back to the surface (and, selfish as he was, desperate to see Madara again in any way he could – even if Madara had never wanted to see Tobirama _after_ ).

(Shaken Izuna stepped back from the ethereal figure rubbing at he throat and shoving at his icy tea soaked clothes, he hadn’t realized it was quite _this_ bad and now seeing how…broken Tobirama- Amaterasu-ōmikami’s _Avatar_ , how had they not realized what Tobirama was before?!- was without Madara Izuna felt rather _fucking awful_ about all the shit he had said to his brother when he found out about their relationship. And honestly how had Izuna missed how badly his brother was hurting? How had he not seen what he was doing to his brother when he said those things? When had the older bother he loved stopped being as important as having an older brother he could control? He didn’t _own_ Madara for fucks sake and Izuna rather wished he could go back in time and give himself a good slap! Gods he had been an ass, not that either Madara or Tobirama had been perfect, but Izuna had hit another level with his manipulation and now it was like someone had ripped off a veil of smug self-satisfaction and Izuna was faced with the reality of who he was and had been and…he wasn’t enjoying it.)

 **“Oh the poor dear!”** the sudden voice jarred Izuna out of his thoughts and he twitched hard as he stared at the handsome, sweet-faced man suddenly standing next to him, the kindly visage of Okuninushi-no-mikoto rather recognizable given how much that minor kami was in the Uchiha heavens coo-ing over Uchiha and their True Loves (Izuna had heard him talking about how much he loved the way Uchiha loved many times – though the kami also detested the Uchiha for the way they hated as greatly as they loved), those that had found them anyway. **“I had heard that Amaterasu-ōmikami’s Avatar was in a bad way missing a lover, but I didn’t realize it was this bad”** so saying the kami slipped past Izuna, ignoring it as the relived Uchiha slipped away to try and think through his conflicted heart. Sadly Ōkuninushi surveyed the silent albino, refraining from touching the pale figure with some difficulty; there was no doubting that Tobirama Senju the Avatar of the Heavens and Madara Uchiha who was once Indra Ōtsutsuki the father of ninjutsu and the Sharingan had one of the great love stories in this world but that was not a fate Ōkuninushi would have wished on them in any world.

Ōkuninushi had fought for love before and he knew the cost of it, he knew that no matter what others thought there was very little about love that was kind or soft – not when it was as all consuming as the devotion these two had found for each other. Oh in their care for each other there was overwhelming softness and gentleness, gentleness not because it was necessary but because it brought them joy to treat each other gently as they both knew life had not always been gentle and did not wish to be part of that. Sadly the kami knelt in front of the too-still figure, tracing the lines of the bandages over his eyes with a tired over-old gaze and feeling a deep grief seep into him; the poor divine dear was teetering on the brink and it was visible in the way the light almost seemed to stream through his figure like he was made of blown glass. And the longer Ōkuninushi looked the more he could see and eventually looking at Tobirama he could see _through_ the pale figure to another kneeling in a cave, grief ridden and broken; blood streaked and shattered and on the edge of complete loss held back only by – and then in the cave Indra-Madara-no-kimi’s eye cracked open, pulling against lashes matted down with tacky blood that Ōkuninushi could see light seeping out from under.

Sharply the Uchiha’s eyes opened all the way with a snap and on one side was the familiar pattern of the Mangekyō Sharingan the _other_ was fully red; no whites of pupil and rather than the blood color of the Sharingan, it was closer to the red of a ruby in bright afternoon light, marked out with what looked like either circles one within the other or a spiral – it was hard to tell. Each point that could have been marked with a tomoe instead picked out with a shinning point of light, like stars scattered through a red cloud in the dark of the night sky it was beautiful and wild and unearthly in a way even the Ōtsutsuki weren’t; this was the power of a kami, no mistaking it. More unnerved than he wanted to say the kami closed his eyes, cutting off the connection through Tobirama and uncomfortably aware that though Madara-no-kimi might not know it yet, he was fully capable of knowing when his love was being examined and who knew what the Uchiha would do if he figured it out and really believed Tobirama was in danger?

Shivering Ōtsutsuki licked his lips, hoping that he never had chance to find out; he might admire their devotion to each other, but he had no need to get between them and experience it firsthand backed with all of Madara-no-kimi’s not inconsiderable power. **“Okuninushi-no-mikoto, what are you doing?”** slightly guiltily the kami jumped and looked at the door and Amaterasu-ōmikami standing there watching him with narrowed eyes, **“I apologize Lady, I was looking for you when I came upon an Uchiha visiting your Avatar and saw how bad off his is. I was trying to get a good look at his power and soul and see if there was anything I could do”** he murmured to the floor. **“And is there?”** the goddess asked softly, moving farther into the room and tugging the fur up higher around her drifting Avatar with clear affection and worry, **“Maybe, I’m not sure my Lady. I would have to be a lot more careful when I look him over next time, given that this time Madara-no-kimi was looking _back_ ” **and with _that_ he more than had her attention, explaining carefully what he had seen at her demanding look and watching with curiosity as she listened to him. That Madara would be at least a little divine was no surprise given his makeup, but that _eye_ was more than just an ember or spark, that was divinity taking _light_ into a true inferno; not a god _yet_ but not all that far from and if his other eye ever matched the left one, well, that would rather change things.

Amaterasu-ōmikami listened intently, frowning faintly as the kami of love spoke and tapping a finger to her lips thoughtful when he was done, **“I need to get past the prohibition”** she murmured **“Indra has already told Tobira about a shadow that talks to him about making use of his ‘special eyes’ and taking them farther into the Rinnegan in order to grant a wish; apparently this shadow tends to speak to Indra about the- admittedly drastic- wrongs done to him in such a way as to inflame the ill feeling. It also sounds like this shadow may have had to do with Indra developing his Sharingan and Mangekyō to begin with, which as you know can only be born through great suffering; I suspect the shadow may have had to do with the way his task set by his father went sideways the way it did with them attacking him – not that the _fucking_ Sage cared about what happened on Indra’s task enough to ask why Indra had used a genjutsu or looked so unsurprised when they turned on each other after he left.” **The goddess clicked her tongue and shook her head before looking at Ōkuninushi with troubled eyes, **“Looking through the blinded eye has been _very_ informative- it’s best if I don’t see the rat little brother after hearing what he said about my Avatar!- and there are…shadows and whispers in the corners of vision and I know there is something the eye has hidden from me, something that happened and was hidden from everyone that I can’t find…”**

Ōkuninushi sucked in a shocked breath, to hide something from _Amaterasu-ōmikami_ was powerful indeed, still… **” Would you like me to look? Love keeps many secrets, and I am used to finding them”** as evidenced by him seeing Madara-no-kimi through Tobirama. Startled Amaterasu-ōmikami sent him a surprised look that quickly turned considering, **“Yes…yes maybe you will see the matters of the heart that I do not. Either way I am calling some of the kami here for dinner later to speak of this shadow and the prohibition of the God Tree an it would be good you attend; all except Ryūjin who is still trying to figure out how to contact the bijuu. Honestly if he would just aske one of the wolves to make initial contact this could be over and done with!”** at the sun goddess’s angry snap Tobirama twitched and shifted, stirring a bit and clearly trying to wake and finding it overwhelmingly difficult but struggling anyway. Gently Amaterasu-ōmikami soothed him, murmuring something about dreams Ōkuninushi didn’t catch before rising and moving to the door, gathering the lesser kami up with her as he went – slightly reluctant to leave the fragile tableau behind them until something else occurred to him; wait, would Ame-no-Uzume be there tonight? He had been trying to get the goddess of the dawn and celebration to make a move on the Queen of Heaven ever since it was her, uh, _dancing_ that had called Amaterasu-ōmikami out of her cave so long ago, but they were rarely in the same place and that made it more than a little difficult. Cheered by the thought of that Ōkuninushi followed the sun goddess with a great deal more energy away from the quiet room and its mourning occupant.

* * *

_(Tobirama grinned lazily up at Madara as the Uchiha read a scroll, murmuring to himself occasionally and playing absent mindedly with the albino’s long fingers; the soft, thin leather of his gloves soothing on Tobirama’s calloused hands. Turning to hide his smile in Madara’s stomach Tobirama basked in the soft afternoon warmth and easy presence of his lover, content to just be with Madara while he worked even with the Uchiha’s concentration elsewhere; it was enough to just be together and know Madara wanted him here – especially after the last few weeks. Things were better in the clan since father’s death- Tobirama certainly had less bruises with Butsuma dead- but that didn’t mean that the clan had gotten any easier with him and both Touka and Hashirama had a lot more to do with Hashi as the new clan head, not Tobirama- or not much for him- he had been supporting the clan with his work for **years** and though there was more to do with Butsuma dead he also had more help with Touka- who father would never have let do anything- and a reduction in his endless training was helping Tobirama feel rather a lot healthier in general to Madara’s clear pleasure. If only Madara could have such a relief, Tobirama was doing what he could to keep their clans out of conflict and each other’s business- in his opinion that was a necessary first step to stopping the clan war- but it was difficult with Hashirama taking every opportunity to see Madara with no thought to what the increasing clashes with the Uchiha looked like on the outside. With difficulty Tobirama shoved those thoughts away, he tried not to think about Hashirama when he was with Madara lest he start doubting himself or feeling guilty about not making time for his older brother to see his ‘best friend!’, he tried not to wonder about whether Madara would prefer Hashirama because he knew that wasn’t fair to Madara who would **never** lead someone on and Tobirama knew it._

_Gently Madara cupped the back of Tobirama’s neck and squeezed, smiling when the albino hummed a pleased note and smuggled closer “Am I ignoring you sweetheart?” he asked softly, smiling at Tobirama’s contented response “No, you are paying attention to me while you do the work you have to do rather than doing it in your study which would be a lot easier” the albino murmured. Pleased and soft eyed Madara smiled down at his lover, grateful that Tobirama never asked for more than just his presence; he never got angry or frustrated when Madara couldn’t pay full attention to him or was distracted, just happy when they could be together. Still, this…would wait, Madara had a lapful of happy healthy lover and had run out of his wherewithal to resist the effect that Tobirama had on him; gathering up his lover into a heated kiss and spending the afternoon in a more pleasurable way.)_


	10. burning in the earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have...no idea what is going on in this story anymore....ugh, I need more sleep

Kurama narrowed his eyes at the black wolf in front of him feeling Mito echo the motion, the big okami giving off a powerful impression that he was refraining from rolling his eyes with difficulty as he slanted a look at the kyuubi; seeming unconcerned with the nine-tails’ larger size (though he wasn’t a small wolf at all either) and bigger teeth (….but the okami’s ears were proportional, dick), though in all fairness Kurama _was_ mostly stuck in Mito. “ **I’ll tell you again, I come bearing messages from the kami. Ryūjin specifically and but the rest of the kami are in on it too apparently, you might pass on a heads up to the Uchiha by the way; Amaterasu-ōmikami is pretty pissed about how they treated her Avatar, she’s mad at all the mortals but the Uchiha should have known better** ” there was clear censure in the wolf’s voice and Kurama felt Mito’s head cock as he looked through her eyes and used her voice (he was honestly pretty surprised that she had let him have so much control, but she hadn’t had a huge amount of choice when the wolf refused to talk to her without the kyuubi present). It was Mito who responded though, folding her hands into her sleeves as she spoke “Tell me okami, what may we call you? You already know our name after all” the wolf snorted sharply and tossed his head a bit before responding, “ **I am Anzhong, from the wolves in the mountains that hear the most from the kami. We are not of the same stock as the Hatake-cousin’s pack-kin but neither are we of the same pack as wolves in the woods here that have forgotten their kami gifts – or lost them to the God Tree, I don’t know which. We are the okami of the mountains and we have not forgotten our pact with the kami and in return they have not forgotten us, but neither have they forgotten _you_** _”_.

Kurama felt Mito send a ping of confusion back at him, knowing she was a bit thrown by all the talk of the kami and their Avatars(?) as the kami had never hand much sway in Fire Country – or any of the five countries really. And what was this about the God Tree? Hesitantly Kurama shifted forward, feeling Mito’s pupils change as he did and grudgingly admiring her skill to have created a seal of such finesse, “Anzhong, we don’t understand. What Avatar? What could the kami want here? They have not interfered in mortal affairs in my long lifetime, what changed?” at that the okami looked somehow even more frustrated and he gave himself a good shake before speaking, “ **And _that_ is why you need to talk to them! The kami have not had much influence but that’s not really their own choice after the God Tree, either way sending down an _Avatar_ is a pretty big indication of their opinion; frankly its appalling that you didn’t recognize Tobirama-no-kimi for what he was**” _Tobirama-no-kimi?!_ Just like that Kurama and Mito stood and brushed down her robes, moving briskly to gather her things for a trip while asking how long she could expect to be gone; Kurama thinking quietly in their shared head space before speaking again as Mito tucked things into a sealing scroll and wrote a note for the Hokage.

“Why do you think we should know about the Avatar?” he asked, starting there rather than digging into the more complicated questions. Anzhong cocked his big dark head, his blue-white eyes shocking against his dark fur “ **If nothing else the Tablet? Amaterasu-ōmikami gave a Tablet inscribed with her Word to her chosen children ages ago and _they_ should have known if no one else**” and that was the sort of thing Kurama was worried about, sending Mito a fast stream of what he knew about the Stone Tablet of the Uchiha (something he hadn’t known about until a second memory shifted in his head and he remembered a conversation with Indra about the Tablet and how stressed Indra was about it towards the end of his too-short life, ((personally Kurama thought that Indra had died so young of a broken-heart, shattered when his love couldn’t stay and he lost his brother and father in insane broken rage))). The jinchuriki paused, tilting her head thoughtfully and sending back another rush of sensation and a question that made Kurama’s lips pull back from his lips in a nasty grin, sending back a firm affirmation to the red-head.

* * *

Barely twenty minuets later Mito glided in to the Uchiha compound, Anzhong totting behind her with his ears perked in curiosity; the big wolf nodding at a stray small Hatake standing on a corner as they moved past, the little boy’s eyes going _huge_ at the regal wolf acknowledging him (kid looked like he could use some friends, maybe snakes would be good for him?). Mito smiled serenely at the Uchiha near the gates and sailed right past, heading toward the clan head’s house where Kikiyo lived with Hikaku and his small _adorable_ son (baby Shisui was extremely cute and after his mother died Kikiyo had moved in with her kin, the two cousins leading the clan together as best they could until Kagami was old enough to take up the position). At the head’s house Mito knocked softly and then turned with some surprise to watch Anzhong trot around the side of the house, following the okami curiously the Uzumaki flicked a questioning thought back at her companion, unsurprised when Kurama had no ideas as the big wolf led them through the back garden and past sacred seals that glimmered at the wolf’s passage until they stood before a large dark stone tablet, marked all over with writing Mito couldn’t decipher no matter how she turned her head (it was a bit…irritating. Mito was a seal master and it had been a _very_ long time since any written language had resisted her understanding).

“What is it?” Mito asked quietly, “why can’t I-“ she leaned closer as the okami circled the Tablet, ignoring the outraged sound from the front of the shrine as Kikiyo followed them in, “You can’t be here! What are you doing here?! This is sacred Uchiha grounds! What-“ then the wolf moved around into sight again, melting out of the shadows with light glimmering in his fur and his pale eyes a little _too-bright_ when he spoke is the heavy voice that had been the first thing to make Mito believe that he was a messenger of the kami. “ **Uchiha, Amaterasu-ōmikami is much wroth with you.** ” at the okami’s over resonant voice Kikiyo froze, a hand flying up to cover her mouth in a visible reaction that revealed exactly how thrown she was to see Mito here and how sacred this was to the Uchiha clan, “Oh sweet kami of fire” she breathed; uncharacteristically at a loss. The wolf snorted and leveled her with an unimpressed look, “ **The Queen of Heaven actually, whatever you have allowed yourselves to believe the kami never left and Amaterasu-ōmikami never stopped loving her chosen children. _You._ At least not until you treated her Avatar with unceasing cruelty and were part of the instrument of his torment – even in death. Now her love for you is rather taxed, though this**” he nodded at the Tablet “ **explains rather a lot.** ”

But Mito could see that Kikiyo was thinking of something else and putting other pieces together until she whispered, “Avatar of the gods, Amaterasu-ōmikami’s Avatar, Tobirama-sama”. Startled Mito shot her friend a sharp look, impressed that she had put it together as Anzhong nodded in agreement, “I studied in the capital, I know more of the kami than some and I _knew_ there was something more to Tobirama-sama- more than his relationship with Madara-sama before Izuna’s death- but I never…I never pushed for more” her eyes landed on the Tablet, an aging hand brushing over the inscriptions as her eyes spun into the Sharingan; the fine shake in her fingers giving away the exhaustion and frailty that followed Uchiha especially in their older age “I should have pushed for more” and the regret, the curse of the Uchiha far more than hatred in Mito’s eyes.

“ **Yes, you should have. The Avatar could have saved your clan and your leader had you not rejected him, but…it is perhaps not your fault completely. The Tablet, I do not know what is _should_ say but I know it does not say it; someone has altered the Tablet and its message and all that it says should be taken only with the greatest of skepticism. All that have turned to it in moments of distress have been misled**” at that Kikiyo covered her face with a sweeping sleeve and sank to the floor, reminding Mito of how deeply the woman had missed Madara when he left and her fondness for Tobirama (it was Kikiyo that had given Tobirama permission to teach Kagami when no one else would have) and on top of that to find that what her clan considered their greatest truth was nothing but a lie – and a lie that had caused Madara to be lost when Tobirama could have saved him (and didn’t _that_ explain a lot). It was no wonder that she was over come with the heartache and Mito…wouldn’t be surprised if this was the blow the woman couldn’t survive, the Uchiha were always so susceptible to pain and without the hate her kin sometimes turned to for strength in the face of loss Mito could feel in her gut that her friend couldn’t overcome this blow.

With a sigh the Uzumaki sent a questioning tendril to the kyuubi, wanting his take on the Tablet even as the wolf examined it, nosing at the stone until the bijuu surged forward to look through Mito’s eyes (in the back of her head Mito wondered if she could convince Anzhong to stay after everything was sorted, Mito would like her granddaughter to have a chance to talk to the wolf and clearly they all needed to learn a lot about the kami – also she hadn’t missed little Sakumo’s star struck eyes). A moment later Kurama shifted in her mind and asked her to gather a scroll big enough to make a charcoal rubbing of the Tablet to take to the kami, after all if they were going to do this they might as well do it all the way.

* * *

Kurama listened to the winding tale Ryūjin told them, his ears going back and his hackles going up as the dragon god walked them through the history of the kami and the Ōtsutsuki and the God Tree, telling the story of Indra and the Sage of Six Paths and all that Amaterasu-ōmikami had done for her missing child – including sending her Avatar to him, and then _back_ to him (and it was really quite nice to know what had happened with his shifting memory though it made Kurama’s heart ache for his big brother). It was more than a little concerning that something had been interfering in Indra’s existence for so long but that helped explain the Tablet changing and was something that the kami were fairly sure they could fix – just as soon as they could act in Fire Country. Fine, ok, Kurama wasn’t making any promises that he wouldn’t act if he met any shadows but he was willing to leave it to the kami provisionally (like he was carefully ignoring the stuff about the Sage, he really wasn’t sure how to deal with criticism of his father so he was just going to leave it to the kami to handle), but none of that could be done until the God Tree was dealt with and after all that Kurama had heard about that he was more than willing to take care of it and even call on his siblings to do so.

His plan- that Mito agreed with luckily- was quite simple and Ryūjin had looked a bit shocked and then a lot chagrined when Kurama had proposed it. The thing was that as long as the power of the God Tree lingered the kami couldn’t act but the only power of the Tree left- now that the bijuu were clean, something Kurama was reluctantly glad of- was Madara (and Kurama knew how to get him to Amaterasu-ōmikami, that was Mito’s Plan and when Madara was in the presence of the kami he should be able to purify himself or something) and the Sage (which again Kurama wasn’t getting involved in) but the thing was that the kami couldn’t act in the shinobi countries _apparently_ they had never considered that that might be because when the God Tree came down though the trunk and branches vanished the _roots never did._ So yeah, Kurama and Mito were going to go to Madara and send him to his mother and then the bijuu would gather and _burn_ the roots out from under the five great countries.

With that in mind after the dragon god left with the rubbing of the Stone Tablet Kurama subsided back into the seal space to contact his siblings while Mito changed in fast traveling clothing and talked with Anzhong and the random bird that had showed up at some point to take them to Madara. It took longer than Kurama wanted for all his siblings to gather and several looked like they were just going to ignore him until he sat and folded his paws neatly (habits from his childhood coming back hard with the promise of seeing Indra again) and leveled them with a sharp gaze “Indra is in danger” he said briskly, hiding a smirk when that sent his siblings into disarray and settling down for a long explanation as Mito made her way across Fire Country.

* * *

Madara drifted, his mind lost in ( _Tobirama was laughing the way he so rarely did, fully-bellied and breathless as he listened to the story Madara was telling him about Izuna_ ) memory and ( _Izuna was screaming and raving, wild and out of control with pain and fever as his empty right eye-socket bleed freely_ ) heartbreak, so thick and heavy ( _“you’d chose that whore over your own clan!?” “I’m warning you Izuna, call him that again-“ “and what? you’ll hurt me? your last **living** brother? The only one you haven’t failed? For a piece of trash like the demon who’s only fucking you to get you under his control!?”_) Madara thought he could choke on it ( _long, careful hands stroked Madara’s hair, gathering him close in the windy shack in the middle of lightning as Madara shook with fever while Tobirama poured chakra into him in a carefully controlled stream, tears dampening the Uchiha’s hair as his lover wept in silent fear_ ), drown in it ( _Madara panted, slanting a sideways look at Tobirama as the other teen panted in the bright sun as it pounded down on the gladiator ring; both of them shinning with sweat and covered in dust, the white of the other boy’s brilliant hair was completely hidden but his eyes were sharp and his answering grin was toothy and hungry enough to make Madara’s blood stir in answer. Laughing a bit helplessly the Uchiha turned back to their opponents, guiltily looking forward to fighting alongside the Senju_ ) and he might not mind if it meant he could be with ( _Tobirama limp on the ground, older and worn and **dead**_ **)**

**dead**

_Indra rolled his eyes as To’ra muttered disparaging comments about Kanna under his breath, the albino was deeply unimpressed with Asura’s new wife and it was the kind of vindication that the older Ōtsutsuki brother craved –_

Outside the cave a cockerel crowed again and Madara was roused for a moment with the memory of the bird that he had given his eye to but in the end he couldn’t bring himself to care and let the memories surge again ( _Tobirama was brushing his hair, one of the favorite things ever since he had started braiding Madara’s hair when they were captive together to keep it cleaner with their limited access to -_ )

The bird crowed again but this time it was joined by another voice speaking sharply in the late afternoon air “Madara Uchiha I swear on the sea if you don’t come out of your depression cave _right now_ I will come in and _get you_ and then I will tell Tobirama that you would rather hide in there than see him – I can’t get him to strip for you at the moment” and just like that Madara felt more awake and alive than he had in a _long_ time. He could well guess how Tobirama would take that threat and he was sure that Mito would find a way to follow through - she always did. With difficulty Madara pushed himself to his feet and limped toward the door, emerging into the dimming light with a wince and a surprised blink at Mito’s attire; he had never seen her in anything other than her white robes, this was Konoha shinobi wear and it was a shocking enough difference that he didn’t particularly mark the large black wolf moving behind him to block the entrance of his… _depression cave_. “Mito” he rasped, taking in the odd shape of her pupils and the waves of power around her and the shape of spectral tails as the creature standing behind her stepped out to stand next to her, head lowered uncertainly (he didn’t notice his left divine eye shinning brightly as he looked, saw, and manifested what he shouldn’t have even recognized).

“Still haven’t grown into the ears” the Uchiha said inanely, head aching with ( _Indra ruffled his little brother’s large ears and showed him how to shape his raging chakra, the only one strong enough to help his ball of power and rage and fluff learn how to manage the sheer volume of his power_ ) memories that wanted the settle in his head and take up a place there (but he had never known Tobirama then, had never known his comfort an – wait, no, he had never lived then at all!...had he?). But Kurama didn’t vanish (had he _enslaved his **brother?!**_ ) and just grinned uncertainly at Madara as Mito narrowed her eyes, looking at him thoughtfully (was there something wrong with his left eye?) and then at the spectral bijuu next to her that even she could see faintly before seeming to set it aside and turning back to Madara and her task. “So I’m guessing you don’t want me to tell Tobirama that you faked your death so that you didn’t have to see him again?” she asked briskly and still confused but with hot anger snapping down his spine Madara snarled back, “Don’t you _dare_ lie to him!”

“Is it a lie Madara? See the thing is, you _broke_ him; you abandoned him and hurt him and left him to mourn you every day and I know he died thinking of you. Did you know he never summoned his leopards again after you died? That he thought it was all his fault? That-“ Madara couldn’t take her biting words and lashed out with a whip of chakra and flame (…how did he do that?) sending her backwards but not harming her much as Kurama stepped in to take the blow for her. “I only ever wanted him to be ok” the Uchiha raged “I just wanted-“ “And what if he’s not?” she asked briskly, “ _He’s **dead!**_ ” Madara all but screamed in her face.

Gritting her teeth Mito snapped right back, hiding her fear quite well as she goaded Madara in the direction she needed “Yes he is, whatever made you think that would mean peace for him after what you did!? He is suffering and if you can’t help him you will never see him again, he will be lost to you _forever-“ (“you’ll see me again Indra, I promise that, no matter what happens you’ll see me again. But it might be a while, it might be a very long time indeed, but I will never leave you completely – not until you want me to anyway” at those words something in Indra’s chest panged and released, the promise was good, and the hope Indra needed most but it also meant that To’ra would never stay with him here; all Indra would ever have of love was stolen moments from another time. “I’ll find you celestial, I promise. I’ll find you in the future and I will **never** leave you” at Indra’s word To’ra smiled a tired smile, fingers ghosting over Indra’s face with deep love but…no belief. “Don’t make a promise you won’t keep Indra, you don’t know what is going to happen, let the future do as it will dear heart.”_) Madara had promised. Madara had _promised,_ promised to a Tobirama that was blind and pale and less than truly alive.

Madara wasn’t going to break this promise.


	11. from behind the clouds

Amaterasu frowned down at the mirror where Izuna’s eye sat (she had decided to just think of it as Izuna’s because there was still so much of his chakra in it even if it had been in Madara’s head later), preserved with copious amount of power and its own echoing strength. What she had found looking through the eye and seeing what the eye had seen was worrying enough, but what Okuninushi-no-mikoto had seen looking _into_ the eye rather than through it…. **“I don’t understand, how could the shadow have gotten _in_ him much less gotten into his heart? Are you _sure_ that there is a fragment of the shadow in Madara’s heart? In _addition_ to the missing shard of his chakra-soul?” **she asked quietly, glancing at the pale kami of love; the poor man looked like he was going to be sick and had ever since he looked into the miasma of anger and bitterness that filled the eye, so much love that had gone rotten and cold it made even a kami sick.

 **“Yes Amaterasu-ōmikami, there is no doubting it. It was an under-developed jutsu, but I fear to think what could be created if Indra-no-kimi got his hands on it, he could transform it into a very powerful seal I’m sure. As it is it is closer to a…think about it like the evil version of your mirror, a shard of a mirror that only shows the worst possible version of anything seen in it and that made its way into Madara-no-kimi’s heart after lodging in Izuna’s eye. After they switched eyes the shard made its way out of Izuna’s eye and through the chakra coils into Madara-no-kimi’s heart, I am not mistaken Amaterasu-ōmikami; the heart has no secrets from me – not even the shadows that can hide from the sun can evade my gaze.”** Swearing internally Amaterasu closed her eyes for a second, he was right; Okuninushi-no-mikoto didn’t make mistakes when it came to the heart which meant they had yet _another_ thing to worry about in Madara! God Tree power and Izuna’s chakra polluting him and insanity from grief and a missing bit of his chakra and the messed up reincarnations _and_ a shadow shard in his heart? Couldn’t her poor children get a damn _break!?_

“ **Amaterasu-ōmikami?** ” the soft voice of an attendant called the sun goddess’s attention to the door and she smiled at the sight of her sister looking a bit less dead than normal. (When Susanoo-no-mikoto had thrown that damn horse into her weaving hall and killed Wakahirume Amaterasu had been _livid-_ obviously, she had banished him for it after all- and felt rather bad for Hamura who had just started courting the minor kami, but then Hamura had died too and become the Shikigami which meant he could actually see her some as well, so they figured it out and managed to have mostly mortal kids anyway ((Amaterasu wasn’t sure how that worked honestly, and she wasn’t asking)). On the other hand Wakahirume made the best of it when she visited and ran into Susanoo-no-mikoto by looking as sad as possible and leaving body parts around him in a gruesome trail of silent condemnation – Amaterasu’s favorite had been early on when Wakahirume tricked her awkwardly contrite older brother into playing ‘got your nose’ as some sort of odd apology and then given him the most horrified heartbroken look when her nose actually _came off_ in his hand. Susanoo-no-mikoto had had a meltdown like Amaterasu had never seen and it was _glorious_ , needless to say that went a long way to helping the sun goddess let her brother back in the heavens for Wakahirume to torment.)

 **“Yes little sister?”** Wakahirume smiled warmly, eyeing the eye with curiosity but not asking as she held out a very large scroll, **“From Ryūjin, he’ll be along in a second, but he wanted you to have this from the Kyuubi. I think he finally gave up and asked the okami for help making contact”** Wakahirume said. Amaterasu snorted at that, refraining from rolling her eyes as she unrolled the giant scroll and frowned down at it for a long moment, Wakahirume coming up next to her to look at the paper and the charcoal rubbing of what could only be the Stone Tablet – Amaterasu recognized it, but this was not the Tablet _she_ had been involved in making; or at least it had changed so much as to be almost unrecognizable. Frowning she held out a hand and said **“The eye, give it here”** she _could_ mimic the sight of the Sharingan if she had to but with one of them _right_ _there_ she might as well use that **“thank you, now take down what I tell you. I want a record of what it says”.** Wakahirume murmured agreement, producing a scroll and brush to take down Amaterasu’s words as she went over is, Okuninushi-no-mikoto recovering enough to come look over her shoulder at the scroll with a frown.

The longer she looked at the scroll the darker Amaterasu’s mood got; this was _all wrong_ and it had been done so clumsily too! The fact that so much of it needed the Mangekyō and then more that needed the Rinnegan (Amaterasu knew about the final evolution of the Uchiha eyes of course, they were _her_ chosen people after all, but had always thought that it wasn’t likely to happen when it also needed Asura’s chakra to boost the Ōtsutsuki power in order to manifest – no one without the Ōtsutsuki power could use the Rinnegan after all) was all wrong but also _deeply_ clever as the switching between eye powers would have hidden a lot of problems in the text. Things like the gaping holes in logic and good sense that existed in the mess that had been made of the Sage’s words – Amaterasu’s having been mostly erased (and yes, that _did_ piss her off. a _lot_ ). Teeth grit in anger Amaterasu glared at the scroll, calling up the power of a kami and the Queen of Heaven backed by her implacable will as she _forced_ the scroll the reveal its secrets even without the Rinnegan (as if any mortal gift could be stronger than divine will, the Ōtsutsuki had never been greater than her and had she not wanted her children unharmed she could have just burned this all to ash and been done with it) reaching through the scroll as a conduit to look upon the Tablet; growing taller and more magnificent the longer she looked and angrier she became until in the Uchiha compound the shocked clan watched as the roof of the shrine vaporize under a beam of sunlight followed by the Tablet itself beginning crumble under her fury and cold anger at its lies.

Eventually Amaterasu pulled back and closed her eyes, handing Izuna’s off to someone else- she cared not who- and folding her arms until he temper was at least a bit under control and then turning to Wakahirume with several sharp instructions and heading to meet Ryūjin in the hall to hear what he had to say; ignoring Okuninushi-no-mikoto peeling off to check on Tobirama, she knew he wasn’t doing well and was near lost but she couldn’t change that right now (but if she lost him, her Avatar who had become so dear to her, her rage would know no bounds and, well, the other way to deal with all the problems at once was easy; Fire County could _burn,_ shadows and blight wouldn’t trouble her anymore as ash).


	12. all of the lonely years only days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has a theme song now (thanks to Sleepymangahead) its 1000 Words from Final Fantasy X-2 and I may have had it on repeat as I wrote this chapter. Maybe.

Amaterasu looked over the hall, Ryūjin’s words echoing in her ears and her own anger a steady burn in her stomach; slowly she took tipped her head back and took a deep breath, searching for calm. Her children were dying and though she believed that the bijuu would succeed with the burning of the roots of the God Tree and that her Madara would find his way here (but when he did would he be able to survive it? Would the God Tree and the shadow kill him anyway? The Divine Eye would show him the hidden paths to her place but would not free his heart of the shadow, and she _still_ might lose him and honestly Amaterasu was just **done).** Thoughtfully she closed her eyes and focused, reaching to find how far Madara had made it to the palace and how far along the bijuu were in setting the five countries on fire (and clearly enjoying it, the dears. Another thing to tend to) and then looking around the hall at the gathered kami with murder in her eyes.

 **“I have had enough. The bijuu burn the last of the roots of the God Tree as we speak, and I am _done_.” ** Around the hall several kami glanced to the west where Tobirama’s rooms were and nodded grimly **“Wakahirume, go bring your husband to us. Ryu-o, Tsukuyomi-no-mikoto, Susanoo-no-mikoto, Ame-no-Uzume-no-mikoto, fetch me Kaguya; destroy the moon and bring her at the center if you must, but I want her _here_. Okuninushi-no-mikoto, Omoikane-no-mikoto, I have a task for you. The rest of you I want information on the living shadow, I don’t care how you get it a long as the clans aren’t killed off. Now, _move!”_** there was a deep sense of anticipation as the kami dispersed in rustling silks, the kami of love and wisdom approaching to get their instructions as in the back of her head Amaterasu tracked her son’s approach, anticipation and fear churning in her (getting around the prohibition by having Madara come to _them_ so it wasn’t them trying to use power on the God tree should work but it was not certain that it would be enough to keep Madara safe, and Amaterasu feared for him).

* * *

Madara strode into the place without quite knowing where he was or how he had gotten there, all he knew was Kurama’s blurry words and the pull from the sealed scroll he always carried; the last reminder of his love that he had kept with him in the dark. It was strange but every step forward ached and ached and made him wonder what he had been missing as the dirty fog in his head cleared slowly – _why_ had he believed that living forever was the only way to get Izuna _and_ Tobirama back? he knew that on some level he had been convinced that Zetsu had the only way to get Tobirama in a way he could keep, but he should have remembered that To’ra would never have asked him to go though so much and discard so much; it was _Tobirama,_ he would have found another way for them to be together and Madara wasn’t sure how he had forgotten that. It was odd to think about how clouded his thinking had been, like waking from a long fever and having it cling to the edges of his mind and soul in a way only one thing would fix he knew.

Led by the instinct he didn’t understand Madara strode into a grand hall, steps stuttering a bit as he took in the sweeping length of it; it was made out of dark wood polished to such a high shine that flickers of red shown through and each of the tall wall panels was done in luminescent paintings of scenes from myth and history in gold and silver leaf, even the high roof was covered in panels depicting the sky and sun in brilliant color. Around the room in tall delicate pots sprigs of chrysanthemum and cherry blossoms were blooming and filling the air with their soft scent even as Madara could smell the scent of sun and heat (like ripening crops in the late afternoon in August), and at the head of the room on a low dais stood a beautiful woman watching him. She was tall and dressed in the most beautiful jūnihitoe Madara had ever seen, her hair a sleek fall down her back to the floor where it wasn’t cut around her delicately made up face, a face that _Madara…recognized,_ how could he not when he had seen it every time he looked in a mirror? She was a bit more delicate and feminine, but the resemblance was shocking, and her brilliant pupil-less golden eyes seemed almost kind on him for all her heavenly magnificence, **“Madara, or do you wish to be called Indra?”** she said in a voice like clarions and doom.

Automatically Madara went to respond only to lose track of his thoughts and sway to his knees, pressing a hand to his heart painfully ( _To’ra_ ) and choking on his words until – _“Madara!”_ his eyes snapped open and homed in on a doorway by the dais where - kami _Tobirama!_ Madara must have made a noise but he wasn’t paying enough attention to know what it was, his eyes fixed on the figure dressed in blue and silver robes and dark bandages over his eyes in the door; refusing to look away even as his right eye developed a film of bloody tears and they smeared down his cheek. Painfully Madara forced out a broken “ _To’ra, celestial_ ” and in a dizzying moment there was a flurry of movement and then To’ra was there, already reaching out for Madara; the safest place he had ever known.

Madara couldn’t hold back the whimper as he sagged into To’ra’s hold, clutching to the man’s robes in fists so tight he could feel the fabric tearing under his fingers and gasping for air as his beloved’s cool chakra trickled through him, soothing the seared chakra coils and pains he had grown almost used to; gathering the burning pain into a few sharp points and corralling it there until Madara felt dizzy with the sheer relief. “Oh dear heart” Tobirama whispered gathering Madara closer and petting his long dark hair with one elegant hand, “what have you done to yourself love?” Madara couldn’t help but choke on an aching laugh, shifting to wrap his arm around the slimmer man in a grasping embrace as Amaterasu spoke softly from near them **“Child, I don’t think you’re strong enough for that, you must stop”**. At that Madara lurched back, not letting go of To’ra but pulling back enough to get a good look and feeling his heart drop like a stone at the overwhelming fragility of a shinobi he thought of as vital and strong (how had he not realized Tobirama might be sick? Mito and Kurama had said he was, and Indra had certainly known that To’ra was fragile, so how could Madara have forgotten?). “To’ra…” he breathed, cupping the blindfolded face “sweetheart what happened to you?”

 **“Madara, he is my Avatar,"** at her words Madara looked up at the kami and her sad molten-gold eyes **"he has been fading; you can save him, but you must be willing to save yourself as well to do so. I created him for you, my beloved son; and without you he will in time fade to nothing.”** Horrified Madara stared at the kami, turning into Tobirama’s hands in spite of himself as the albino gently wiped Madara’s cheeks with his sleeves, apparently ignoring her words. “To’ra you’re not…” he trailed off at the faint sad smile Tobirama gave him and the shake in the pale hands “celestial” at that To’ra’s smile widened and grew a bit more honest “I have never, and will never, regret a single time I chose you Madara, Indra. I may have been formed for you but every choice I made was my own and I do not regret them” at those words Madara’s heart _seared_ with pain and he doubled over into Tobirama’s hold. Gasping in relief as cool chakra washed through him and only halfway registering Amaterasu’s fast words above him (something about a shadow?) until Tobirama gathered him closer and put his lips right next to Madara’s ear, a breath and then - “Dear heart, I forgive you and…I’m sorry” and the chakra that had been steadily growing weaker faltered and then grew stronger, _much_ stronger, too strong and –

stopped, **failed** ,

( _Tobirama was dead in the dust, empty eye sockets a pointless taunt)_

_To’ra was coughing up blood and never coming back as hope grew thorns_

_“I forgive you, and…I’m sorry”_ (but, no – no there’s nothing to apologize for because – you’re not leaving me)

(you’re not…)

(don’t apologize, not to me,)

_Please_

I’m not done loving you

(the shadow that in another world would have been nurtured into the heart seal – quite possibly the cruelest of all the horrors to come of Zetsu’s influence on Madara's brilliant mind for the way it took away even the ability to chose death and forced that regret into another heart. This power- be it shadow or seal- could only ever be destroyed when the heart it infected was destroyed, _completely.)_

(destruction means many things and with two words ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ Madara’s heart was destroyed, the shadow having no place in such consuming emptiness; leaving him free for the first time since he let his brother convince him to take his eyes so long ago – free, and empty. Except -)

 **“INDRA, get up you fool, give him your chakra! You can still save him if you move quickly!”** Amaterasu’s voice cut through the void in him like lighting and he was shoving his chakra into the too-still Tobirama without a thought, gasping a sob as he felt a sliver of life returning to the too-translucent figure. **“Your other eye, Indra do you have your old eye?”** distantly Indra nodded and shoved the precious scroll into the kami’s hands and not even caring as his whole world was the delicate count of a hundred hundred heartbeats. He didn’t even care when Amaterasu careful eased his right eye out of his head (he didn’t need to see to feel the hummingbird-beat) and slid another heavy with power into the socket and his right eye flashed in power to match the left Divine Eye; his own sudden ascent to true divinity meaning nothing if he was to do it alone.

 **“Oh you clever boy, here, give him back his eyes. Trust me child”** Indra sent the goddess an uncertain look, terrified of taking his hands off To’ra for even a moment even as her gaze was firm and sure **“charge them with your chakra and give them back to him, he needs your chakra”** slowly he did as he was told, gently moving one hand to pick up one of the crystal red eyes he could never get rid of once he found them on the Gold and Silver brothers and could never bring himself to look at either. Storing them with his and tucking them away until now when the Queen of Heavens asked him to trust her; carefully he wound his chakra through the eyes as Amaterasu unwound the bandages covering To'ra's eyes and suddenly Indra was gasping through tears- clean salt water- and trying not to retch as he gave his love back the beautiful red eyes, Amaterasu gently closing the lids after they were home and healing them cleanly; but nothing happened and for a moment Madara thought that was it, he was still going to lose –

And then To’ra gasped and arched, his hands flying to clutched at Madara’s raged robes as he gasped for air and convulsed, Amaterasu’s hand keeping his eyes closed until the fit had passed and Madara could _feel_ that life and _divinity_ had taken up residence in his beloved’s body. Alive “Madara?” To'ra's voice was small and confused and _alive_ “ _Tobirama_ , celestial, you have _nothing_ to apologize for as long as you are with me for a thousand words more.”

(“Only a thousand?” “Well, I want to respond at some point.”)


	13. waning

Tobirama was definitely feeling a bit off balance but he…really didn’t care as long as he got to keep cuddling Madara, a Madara that _wanted_ to cuddle him and wasn’t going mad with chakra poisoning or a shadowed heart and had his own eyes again, even if they were a lot stronger now with divinity (Tobirama would admit he was rather partial to the look of them now, definitely over looking at the man he loved and seeing _Izuna’s_ Mangekyō pattern rather than the one that Tobirama had fallen in love with. Also, having sight again was _overwhelming_ after all this time). Apparently that meant that Izuna’s chakra was gone and Amaterasu had filled the missing shard in Madara’s chakra with divinity rather than try and reclaim it when she said it was probably quite tainted at this point, and after hearing all that she knew about the shadow and how many things it had affected Tobirama could agree with that; it just wasn’t worth the risk. To his relief Madara seemed disinclined to argue as the kami filled him in on his history and her place in it and what they had found about the tablet and Izuna’s eyes – some of it things even Tobirama hadn’t heard as he spent so much of his time drifting in and out of memory. On the other hand Madara was clearly getting overwhelmed a bit if the shivers cascading through him were anything to go by, in response Tobirama gathered him a bit closer and threaded his finger through the heavy dark hair Tobirama loved so much to rub at the base of his skull where Madara frequently kept stress (another of the little secrets of Madara-Indra that Tobirama horded dearly).

The Uchiha sighed and sagged into his hand, letting his head drop onto Tobirama’s shoulder to his gratitude as he looked at the kami, smiling a touch when he saw that her features were every bit as close to Madara’s as he had once thought they must be. Her smile grew and she reached down to cup his cheek gently, a thumb tracing the red line on his cheek - though the path it followed was rather more decorative than Tobirama remembered; had they changed? Given Madara’s eyes he wasn’t discounting it. **“I’m so glad, I’m so glad you’re ok child”** the pain in her voice made his throat ache as he thought about the long hours she had spent with him; not just trying to save him endlessly but also siting and telling him long hours of stories of her kin and the shaping of the world when she was a _kami_ and surely was needed elsewhere. “I’m sorry to have worried you so much” he murmured softly, turning his head into her hand because his own were busy with holding Madara and wasn’t planning to let him go _ever._

**“It’s alright, I know you didn’t mean to – neither of you did. I’m afraid I can’t just let you rest though, there is more to this that must be settled without farther delay”** at that Tobirama winced, feeling a bit nauseous at the idea of having to stand for too long and not being allowed to just curl up with Madara and _rest._ Still, he allowed himself to be helped to his feet still as attached to Madara as he could be, keeping the dazed-seeming Uchiha tucked against him as he moved them over to the elegantly ornate chaise some blessed person had placed next to Amaterasu-hime’s dais. He smiled wanly at the worried kami and absently shifted the fall of Madara’s robes into something more on the 'mysteriously disarrayed' end rather than 'exhausted and out of wherewithal to bother with his own dignity'. Amaterasu-hime smiled back and flicked her own robes neatly into place, turning to face the door just as a ruckus arose outside and several attendants filtered in audience. What was she planning?

* * *

Amaterasu fixed her eyes on the door and let a mean little smile curl up her red painted lips, only half tracking as a fast moving attendant rushed to strip off Tobirama’s torn over robe; settling for cutting it off and draping a new much fancier, be-furred one over his shoulders rather than trying to get him to let go of Madara (Amaterasu would admit her smile got a little more honest when she saw the disparaging look her woman sent Madara, clearly itching to change the new kami into something nicer but knowing a lost cause when she saw one. For now). Just as the attendant melted back into the wall the doors were thrown open and Wakahirume paced in, pulling her quiet husband after her by the hand to stand at the head of the hall near the dais but not as close as her children on the other side (the man still had the good sense to bow to her, good. Though Wakahirume may have warned him that Amaterasu was in a Mood – much deserved or not). Right after her Ryu-o snaked in in full dragon form, visibly brightening when his eyes landed on Tobirama who nodded to him and after his long coils Ame-no-Uzume-no-mikoto came in almost skipping with her hand like a vice around a slender wrist extending out of what looked like a it had been a sold block of rock that had at least partially disintegrated into hovering ruble. It seemed they had taken her direction to bring her still incased in rock at its word, behind her Tsukuyomi-no-mikoto and Susanoo-no-mikoto walked grim faced.

 **“Amaterasu! We brought you a rabbit like you asked!”** Ame-no-Uzume-no-mikoto chirped, letting go of Kaguya to skip a bit closer to the sun goddess; her dark eyes glittering with mischief. As always when confronted with heaven’s most alarming female Amaterasu felt her heart lift and lighten, flickering her eyes to the side to draw Ame-no-Uzume-no-mikoto’s eyes to her _living and divine_ children; deeply pleased when the other goddess’s eyes widened and she danced two delighted, graceful steps in her happiness for Amaterasu (notably she didn’t draw any attention to them that would force them to stand, there was a reason Amaterasu adored this woman).

With reluctance the kami turned her attention back to the floating orb of moon dust, raising an eyebrow at her brothers and unsurprised that it was Susanoo-no-mikoto that stepped forward to answer her silent question, **“She’s still sealed, it was hard enough to get through the Ten-tails husk and rip her out we just decided to bring her as is. The moon is…a bit _gone_ , though, Tsukuyomi will have to redo the place, Sorry Hamura”** the Ōtsutsuki sighed a bit but said nothing about it, he was not unused to his home getting beat up one way or another- the moon was a much busier place than Amaterasu thought it had any right to be personally- and his wife must have been keeping him up to date which…Amaterasu couldn’t ding her sister for really. (Absently she glanced at her children, relived to see the edge coming back in Madara’s nebula gaze though Tobirama was looking blurry again which was concerning, she would have to deal with all of this fast so he could get a nap.)

With a silent sigh Amaterasu fixed a hard look on the moon rock, her will bending on the rock until it was melting off the bound and sealed Ōtsutsuki in dripping globules (her poor _floors)_ so Amaterasu could see the white of the other woman’s robes and hair – and her glaring pale eyes though her third eye remained closed and she looked a bit dazed at being woken so abruptly. **“Hello Kaguya”** the sun goddess purred **“I don’t know that you and I were ever properly introduced, I am Amaterasu-ōmikami, Queen of the Heavens and kami of the Sun – amongst other things. And you, my dear, you have come here as a foreigner in this world and ignored your elders – because yes, I _am_ your elder and though I have no ‘God Tree’ and obey rules you cannot understand I need you to know that the _only_ reason I do so is that the _easy_ way to get around them is just to _burn everything in the way to ash_.”** She paused and took a calming breath, continuing in a calmer voice **“Now, I understand that none of this is** _technically_ **your fault- though I am loath to ignore the insult- but you have more than factored into it and been a** _problem_ **for me. Recently I almost lost my much beloved children-“** she extended a hand toward the pair, knowing in her bones that they would have figured out how to look dramatic and powerful even as tired as they were. Kaguya’s eyes followed her hand and widened as they landed on Madara and Amaterasu felt her polite smile grow _teeth_ as she knew the other woman recognized her grandson.

 **“-and that I _can’t_ forgive, so I decided it was time I cleared house and that means dealing with _you_ , once and for all. So here is where we are, you have the power of the God Tree and that prohibits me touching you, though not- clearly- my affecting you, which means that it’s rather hard for me to decide what to do with you”** but then some of Amaterasu’s anger drained away at the lost look in the pale eyes **“tell me Kaguya, what do you _want?_ ”** and that was clearly a question that Kaguya had clearly never been asked before. She did her best to straighten regally even in her bonds, but the pride didn’t hide the confusion in her eyes as Amaterasu reiterated in softer tones, **“Kaguya, what do _you_ want?”**

“I – My power back that which was mine-“ **“It was _never_ yours, _what_ do you want?”** it was then that Tobirama spoke up softly in oddly ringing tones “ **Safety, she wants to be safe** ” and Kaguya’s face _shifted._ Clearly Tobirama- who had heard all the stories about her and knew the in-between longings of the lost like no one else- spoke the truth (a truth Amaterasu could understand, with family like hers and a lover that had placed her so low on his priorities it wasn’t that surprising really) and _that_ was something that fit quite neatly with her ideas. **“Safety? I will give it to you then, you see there is one way to make sure you are safe here and allowed a home to make your own – or have more children, that’s up to you and Tsukuyomi-no-mikoto after you marry. Such is my will”** silence, shock, gratitude on her brother’s face and confusion on Kaguya’s face; that was fine, she would figure it out over time and as Tsukuyomi-no-mikoto’s wife she would surrender the prohibition and in exchange get the protection of the kami (and Amaterasu protected her kin – especially the woman folk) and freedom from the seal when they stripped it off after the vows. However, there was one more thing; **“Tsukuyomi-no-mikoto do you take her to be your wife?”** he nodded immediately and Kaguya sent him an uncertain look, but the top layers of the binds snapped off and she was allowed to stand on her own two feet which meant – **“all right, you can come out now”** and from the back of the hall a slender young woman darted out of the shadows behind Okuninushi-no-mikoto, racing to kneel at Kaguya’s feet.

The noise the Ōtsutsuki made at the sight of the girl who had been so faithful to her in her life and _died_ for her was a bit painful and Amaterasu averted her eyes to give them a few moments as Kaguya knelt over Aino and they murmured to each other, extremely glad that she had raised the girl with the strength to be the Kaguya’s attendant again –forever this time.


	14. sun come down

Hamura watched the Lady of the Sun look at his mother, weeping for joy at seeing a girl Hamura- her own _son_ \- had never even heard of and not arguing an arranged marriage to Tsukuyomi-no-mikoto if it promised her safety, and he had to wonder if he had ever truly known her at all (he had thought he had, after all she had brainwashed him into fighting Hagoromo and he had been with her for a long time and yet…it had been Indra’s beloved that knew what Kaguya wanted more than anything else in the world – and to all appearances he had been _right_ ). It was unnerving to see someone that Hamura thought he knew so well act in a way so…out of the character he had assigned her; he never would have thought that his mother could act in so many ways that she had today – on the other hand he never would have imagined that there was another person that could tell _Kaguya Ōtsutsuki_ what to do and have her unable to argue. Oh Hamura was aware that all children idolized their parents, but he had always thought that in his case he was _right_ , how could he not after the Ten-tails? But, yet again, it seemed he was wrong , for even knowing that the Queen of Heavenly Fields couldn’t touch her, mother bent before the kami like gold in a shinobi’s hands.

With some disquiet the younger Ōtsutsuki brother watched as his shaken mother was led to an elegant bench, draping another robe over her shoulders as Tsukuyomi-no-mikoto stood silently at his new fiancé’s side, looking a bit like he was doing his very best not to fret and finding it difficult. Hamura couldn’t even be sure that his mother would dislike the respectful, quiet, attentiveness, because thinking about it he had _no idea_ what sort of relationship his mother had with his father; his mother had never said and he – he had never asked. Had Hagoromo? That was probably a foolish question, Hamura had always been the brother that looked in and back and Hagoromo had look out and ahead and refused to ever turn his eyes out of the distance – funny how often he was taken by surprise then. Like right now as a gigantic nine-tailed fox nosed into the room- blinking in surprise as he shrunk a bit to the size of very large draft horse at a sideways look from Ryūjin as the dragon kami also reduced in size- but shaking it off trotted farther into the room ignoring the tall okami and red haired _mortal_ walking in behind him; the two of them bound together by chains of complicated sealing-matrixes about which the woman looked deeply unconcerned. Truthfully Hamura wasn’t worrying about that either, or about Kurama showing up here with divine okami, how could he when held in Kurama’s teeth like a cat carrying a dead mouse was a strange agglomeration of decay and rotten hopes in the shape of a figure made of shadows?

It _was….horrifying._

In a flurry of movements several things happened at once; kami flowed in after the nine-tails and Kurama spat out the _thing_ in front of the Queen of Queens, opening his mouth as if he were about to say something and bouncing on his paws a bit but – well, the Lady of Golden Flames did not react well to being presented with a personification of rot in her hall and the blaze of solar flames consuming it almost covered her appalled shriek. Which quickly turned indignant when the _thing_ let out a death wail akin to frozen wood dumped in too-hot fire – or a screaming rabbit. Luckily it didn’t last long as the outraged kami dumped _more_ power into the inferno until there was a small sun burning in the center of the room and Hamura couldn’t see where Kurama had gone but he had a good idea; Hamura had seen how close those flames had come to the foxe's nose and well-remembered Kurama going to his ‘big brother’ with every little hurt and bump as a kit, it had been adorable and Hamura was willing to be on the other side of the hall Kurama was shoving his nose in his brother’s lap asking for a salve and sympathetic pats (and didn’t the Avatar also know the red-head? Hamura…shit, he should know these things! This was his _grandson in law_ , and his _permanent one_ as apparently Indra’s heart had been given a long time ago and never reclaimed unlike Asura who loved so broadly he had taken a different much loved spouse in each life and never shorted any of them).

* * *

Kurama whined and shoved his face in his big brother’s lap, hiding a pleased smirk at Indra’s laugh and then sighing as Indra’s mate reached out and placed a hand on his nose, soothing the sting of the burn from when he hadn’t gotten out of the way fast enough – which he would be more upset about but, well, he _had_ brought what was essentially a rotting ball of fear and resentment into her home on dropped it at her feet on her nice floors so….yeah, fair. He had just been so exited to bring her Zetsu after how bad the mold-rot had been screwing with her Uchiha and Indra he hadn’t thought about the mess (and, ok, it was also a bit fun knowing that there was a whole bunch of kami running around trying to find it while _Kurama_ brought it to his new Aunt instead – and yes Mito and the new okami Anzhong had sent with them while he went back to Konoha had been useful leading the way to his Aunt’s place because apparently Antantaru- the new brindle wolf- was a messenger and walked these paths all the time, but _still_ ; it was _Kurama_ that was bringing the Zetsu).

Carefully Kurama cracked his eyes and slanted a look at Indra’s mate, pleased to see the albino kami looking back at him with a faint smile lingering around his lips as Mito fussed with his robe and hair – well, fussed in a way that managed to not _quite_ look like she was fussing, Kurama was impressed. With a last brush of an interesting energy that was _sort_ of like chakra and soft of…not, Indra’s-mate drew his hand back; it was odd but Kurama’s snout definitely felt all better, so he wasn’t complaining and anyway he’d rather pay attention to his brother for now. As Indra’s-mate turned to Mito Kurama looked at Indra again, rather impressed with “I like the eyes” he rumbled as softly as he could, grinning toothily as Indra ruffled his ears gently, said eyes somehow looking a bit sad and very tired, **“Thanks kit,”** there was a pause and Indra took a deep breath, looking very serious **“I – I’m…sorry Kurama, I should never – to enslave you, it was – I didn’t – I’m _sorry_ ”**. Shocked at the depth of emotion in Indra’s voice Kurama crawled forward farther until he could shove his head into his brother’s chest, a sharp ache starting in his ribs as something _twisted_ in him; a strange mess of betrayal and confusion and loss and hurt for _Indra_ that Kurama hadn’t realized was tangled up in him.

“It’s…ok, you were crazy, like _wow_ you were crazy, and I mean – I was upset but, well, like not as mad at you as I was at the Sea-witch. You fucked up but you _got_ fuck up first and, I’ve not been doing my best either; I should – I shouldn’t have spent millennia burying my head in the sand and growing rage like some bizarre harvest, that’s not what you taught me.” Kurama mumbled the words into Indra’s ragged robes, trying not to think too hard about what would have happened if he had been more involved before; would he have noticed that Indra’s reincarnations had gone _wrong_ if he had been around? Could have changed things? If Kurama hadn’t been sulking he wouldn’t have let his new baby sibs die and then Indra would never have had his relationship with his mate go bad and not gone as batty and – yeah, Kurama was trying not to think about it too much. **“Gracious kit, don’t beat yourself up ok? I – well, I hate to think about what To’ra would say if I started to do that, so you don’t get to either, we just need to do better, yeah? To’ra will help show the way to do that”** the sheer believe in Indra’s voice was a bit _much_ and Kurama felt his tails thump on the ground in glee, resigned to being reduced to an enthusiastic kit around his older brother and _not caring_.

Not caring his brother shared if the besotted look Indra was shooting his mate was anything to go by, and maybe they shared some sort of link because not even a second later Indra’s-mate was looking back with a soft gaze and flicker of not-chakra before he looked at Kurama head on. **“Kurama, this is maybe not quite the right time for this”** he glanced at Mito out of the corners of his red eyes **“but I want you to know we haven’t forgotten you or the other bijuu, many kami have helpers or attendants and if you wish I plan to set the bijuu up as Madara’s. You may still have to have jinchuriki if you wish to work in the mortal world- the rules of divinity are complicated- but if it goes as I intend you would have the right to choose you own. I am sorry Mito but you and Hashirama both knew I _never_ agreed with the choice to enslave the bijuu and given a chance to free them I will take it” ** and that right there was why Indra was trusting his mate to keep him on the right path, Kurama thought. Mito sighed a bit and nodded, “I am aware, it seemed not only the best but also the _only_ choice at the time but if you have found another way far be it from me to stand behind a choice that already is showing cracks. The power balance and politics are…unstable now, the jinchuriki was not the fix my husband thought it would be and in the face of that I am more than willing to bow to the will of a kami”. Which, oh, that – Kurama had never…thought that Mito would say anything like that but, maybe he should have (it was also nice to know _why_ his siblings- other than Shukaku who had been sealed in Sand even before Kurama was- had been enslaved).

Feeling a bit unsettled Kurama nodded vigorously to To’ra, saved from having to say more when the sun behind them winked out with a lingering scent of heat and burnt metal mixing with a heavy scent of rotting greenery until a kami called up a soft breeze with a large fan and filled the room with blessedly clean air. Somewhat reluctantly Kurama crawled around to face his Aunt and dropped his head on his paws, smart enough to show respect to the Queen of the Heavens as he waited for her judgment. Amaterasu-ōmikami had covered her face with her sleeve, clearly trying for composure until To’ra sent a flicker of not-chakra out to curl around her and she glanced at him with a smile, seeming to gain a bit of calm from looking at her kits before her eyes landed on Kurama and grew exasperated as she looked at the large nine-tails trying to flatten himself to the polished floor (Kurama had no interest in becoming the center of a new star – and after seeing Zetsu just _wiped out_ he was sure she could). **“What am I going to do with you?”** Amaterasu-ōmikami asked, a question that Kurama really couldn’t answer.

Luckily Antantaru could, the tall thin okami trotted forward, bowing to the kami before trying to speak to her and keeping his amber eyes lowered, “Amaterasu-ōmikami, Kurama may have been a bit…over enthusiastic, but it was only because he wanted to see his elder brother and bring you the thing that was hurting Indra-no-kimi before the other kami that had come down had a chance to find Zetsu and claim it instead.” At that the goddess blinked and shot Kurama a raised eyebrow, her exquisite face softening a bit at his sheepish nod before turning back to the okami messenger, **“And I am guessing you led him and his jinchuriki here then? Well, what’s done is done; at least the shadow is gone now. Though I would rather like to know _what_ it was and where it came from, you said it was called Zetsu?” **and Kurama knew he should be paying attention to Antantaru’s answer but across and slightly down the hall near uncle Hamura a white, three-eyed woman was shifting with a very odd look on her face.

As sneakily as he could Kurama nudged To’ra with his tail and hissed a question out the side of his muzzle at the albino (after all they sort of looked similar right? Maybe they were related?), “Who’s _she?_ ” To’ra sent him a curious look and the hand Indra had on his back froze for a moment before the albino responded sotto voce, **“That is Kaguya Ōtsutsuki, Indra’s grandmother, the Sage’s _mother_ ”** ….well shit, that would be something he should have known and explain the surprise. Fuck. “I thought she was…” **“Taller?”** Indra interjected softly, “more monstrous” Kurama finished, a bit chagrined “don’t look at me like that! Did you _see_ the Ten-tails?!” once again there was no response as at that point Kaguya stood and moved a bit farther into the room, the tall exotically handsome kami with crazy long hair that had been standing next her following close enough he could be felt but far enough to give her space as she spoke.

“Amaterasu-ōmikami, Zetsu – Zetsu was mine.” And with that the hall plunged into silence as all eyes moved to the pale woman and the sun kami’s eyebrows winged up, **“Explain.”** “When I – when I was sealed all those years ago I…created a failsafe, in the Ōtsutsuki betrayal and kin-slaying is normal; its institutional, even I killed my kin rather than be killed as I was supposed to be, and I never forgot my blood and clan. How could I? With that in mind before everything began I separated a fragment of my Will into a separate entity to do everything in its power to save and free me from whatever my sons did to stop me. I did not however think that I would be sealed so completely or so far away – or watched over so carefully, and because of that Zetsu was more separated than it was intended to be. I didn’t realize- though perhaps I should have- that something created out of fear and anger and old resentment, out of the Ōtsutsuki mindset at its most base, would grow into something so…corrupted and determined to spread its nature. Though it sounds as though it was stills seeking to free me through the Infinite Tsukuyomi by way of Indra’s Rinnegan.” At that anger flashed over Amaterasu-ōmikami’s face and she flicked a glance at Indra sharply before collecting herself again **“And was it the only one?”**

Kaguya frowned a bit, “Well, Zetsu was the only one _I_ made, but I do not know what it has done in the passing years.” At that Kurama perked up and sent a look at Mito, flickering a thought to his jinchuriki until she nodded and then standing to speak, “I know the scent of it now, I could find spores or influence if it has left any. With your permission Amaterasu-ōmikami I and Mito are willing to keep an eye out and bring you anything we find of it to be destroyed. To’ra offered to make the bijuu Indra’s helpers and I at least would like to take him up on that, though I will stay with Mito as my jinchuriki in the mortal lands” at that Amaterasu-ōmikami looked to To’ra and Indra, relaxing at their nods and turning to Kurama with a smile. **“That sounds like a very good plan. The okami will help you if it is needed and we shall discuss the other bijuu another time, I think Indra could use you as helpers as I am sure that Akira and some of hers will chose to help Tobirama and things must be kept balanced at least a little. Thank you Kurama”** at that it took a great deal to keep his tails still and he just knew the tips must be twitching with delight, he would get to work with his big brother! And the sea-witch was ok maybe too. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go,


	15. the final enemy was never fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zetsu wasn't the final enemy; fear never was, not when control walked the paths of the world. Not when the cost of seeing rejection in your father's eyes is so very, very bitter.

Amaterasu took a deep breath and looked over the hall, Omoikane-no-mikoto’s voice a sudden whisper in her ear as a breeze entered the hall; _“incoming”_ the kami of wisdom whispered and she felt anger and hard indignation straighten her spine and harden her face as she faced the heavy engraved door to the hall, her rising temper and divinity calling attention and sending ripples of silence through the hall as all gathered (rather a crowd at this point) turned to face the door with her, waiting. With a flicker of will Amaterasu slightly obscured Kaguya so as not to distract her next guest and searched for Okuninushi-no-mikoto, the other kami meeting her eyes and nodding shallowly; behind him Asura hovered, (looking halfway between Asura and Hashirama interestingly enough, though the expression was far more muted than Hashirama’s had usually been as far as Amaterasu was aware) his eyes flicking between his brother and his mother. Good, Amaterasu knew her last guest would be here in a moment and she hadn’t been certain that her plan to get Asura here would work; turns out with the roots of the God Tree burned, a guide and the Sage distracted it was possible for Asura to- with difficulty- come to Amaterasu’s palace. And speaking of the Sage, the doors slammed open and the Sage of Six Paths stormed in, anger written all over him as he sent a glare at the black haired, black eyed woman that followed him in with the kami of wisdom behind her.

Well, turns out that even Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki could be convinced to leave his secret paths for the woman he had loved in life – though Haori looked grim and unimpressed with him if the angle of her straight dark brows was anything to go off of. When Okuninushi-no-mikoto and Omoikane-no-mikoto had been told who to fetch from the Pure Lands- Aino, Haori, and Asura when it could be managed- and then how to go to the Sage and bring him here they had been surprised and doubtful, but Amaterasu knew better; the Sage would never come for Amaterasu herself, for his brother or mother or sons, but Hagoromo…he would leave his hidden ways for Haori. The Sage was, out off all that carried the power of the God Tree, the only one that had truly _used_ the prohibition of the God Tree and used it against the kami to keep his control over the shinobi and his sons. He was uncatchable and how do you catch something uncatchable? You make it catch itself. So clearly, the thing to do was to have the Sage- like Indra- bring himself to her halls and the heart of her power of his own free will; and the only person he would leave his paths for was his lost lady love – who luckily was not the sort of woman to be impressed with his bull-shit, _at all_.

The Sage stormed to the center of the hall, sending venomous glares around him at the gathered kami and to Amaterasu’s grudging admiration looking more than a little intimidating even here in the seat of her power, his eyes skated over his mother luckily; Amaterasu’s power hiding her and holding. And he never glanced behind him to see the wide eyed Asura but…his eyes landed on Madara and Tobirama and became _livid._

* * *

Madara knew the moment Amaterasu faced the doors that whatever happened next wouldn’t be enjoyable for anyone in the hall, but he hadn’t thought…he should have, after seeing grandmother he should have realized that this would happen. Amaterasu was cleaning house and the Sage was one of those that had stood in her way for a long time, of _course_ she would want to deal with Hagoromo at the same time! But, he never thought that they would get his father to come _here,_ though it seemed that the arresting woman behind him was part of it given her conflicted but stern expression. But the thing was Madara hadn’t had time to get ready, to prepare for seeing his sort-of-father, to gather himself to face the anger that he was sure to see on the Sage’s face, to stand strong in face of his father’s disapproval, and as Hagoromo looked at him and the expected disappointed-anger filled his expression Indra felt the old stress ratchet through him until – Tobirama shifted, his divine chakra curling around Indra as he pulled the Sage’s attention and met his eyes with a flat unimpressed gaze, the newly elaborate markings on his cheeks making him look even more ethereal and dignified as he scanned the Ōtsutsuki from head to toe and looked….unimpressed. It warmed Indra in a way he could hardly handle, far to used to standing against his father’s disapproval on his own without anyone at his back it was oddly overwhelming to have someone not only at his back but fully willing to stand _against_ the _Sage of Six Paths_ if Hagoromo came at Indra.

With what was _almost_ an eye roll Tobirama looked away from the Sage in favor of lightly kissing Indra, something the new kami was more than willing to go along with; always delighted to kiss his lover (husband? Indra wanted him as a husband if Tobirama was willing, and he was willing to bet Tobirama was willing). By the time he pulled away Hagoromo was shoved to the back of his mind and his whole world was wound around the man smiling softly at him, stroking Madara’s cheek **“Do not let him make you less than I know you are”** Tobirama whispered and a sharp pang tore through his heart at the deep belief in the albino kami’s eyes. Unshakable and unyielding as Tobirama himself; as boundless and deep as the sea and inevitable as the tides, Tobirama’s love for him was based in belief in Madara’s character, respect for his mind, and trust in his potential, things even insanity and betrayal couldn’t break. **“As you wish”** Madara murmured back, stroking the line of his neck and straightening the fur collar on the sliver and gold robe that had been draped over his shoulders, **“but I – I have to face him To’ra, you know I do”.**

 **“Yes, but you do not have to let him bring you down to his level. You are a kami now Indra, you are reborn Madara, you are _more_ than him and have proven it though pain and trials. He is no more in your world then you allow, look into your spirit and you will know I speak the truth.” **And there was no arguing with Tobirama when he got that look in his eyes Indra knew and the dark haired kami huffed a laugh, pressing their foreheads together and just breathing; doing his best to ignore the Sage’s ranting at Amaterasu and his mother’s growing answering rage, the two powers rising in the hall and threatening to tear it and all inside to shreds as they attempted to best one another, if left unchecked this realm and the world on the other side of the veil might be lost to the two raging at each other. Amaterasu snarled at the Sage about his blocking her influence and he raged about her staying out of his business and places she had no influence (which, _ouch,_ that was a dumb ass thing to say) and together they would clash until the stars fell if allowed. **“Love you”** Indra whispered, pulling back and caressing his love's red-decorated cheek, pleased when Tobirama smiled back **“And I you, dear heart.”** With a deep breath and a pat on Kurama’s snout when the nine-tails shoved at his hand and passed over a spark of power Indra stood and walked into the center of the hall to stand between his arguing parents, facing his father with the sun blazing at his back; Tobirama moving to stand just off the dais from Amaterasu behind him in silent support, knowing as always what Indra needed to do and standing with him by whatever choice he made.

 **“Father”** at that the Sage’s words ground to a halt and he fixed angry eyes on Indra, the soft purple of the Rinnegan making the young kami ache (this was what he should have been, an Ōtsutsuki and bearer of their greatest powers, his father’s son). “What?” the Sage snarled “What can you possibly have to say to me? You-“ **“All I ever wanted was to be the kind of child you were proud of.”** And those words fell in between them like echoes of all the corpses that had come from their conflict **“there was a time Father when I would have done anything if it would have made you smile, _look_ at me, anything to get you to look away from the future and flaws and see me right there _trying_ everyday to be what I could see reflected in your gaze. And I – I am sorry that I never figured out how to. I’m…I am so _sorry_ that I never could dad, I’m sorry I could never be what you needed to be content or make you want to stay – but dad, that was never my fault. I gave you everything I could and when you entrusted me with leading the clan so you could teach I did that too and I did it _well, damn it!”_** Hagoromo had frozen, something odd written on his face that Indra didn’t bother to try and understand **“I was good at leading the clan Father, I was. I kept everyone fed and clothed even when it was nearly impossible, or brother brought more people that needed to eat, and you may not have liked how I did it, but _I did it_. Not you, and not Asura. But it was never enough, I don’t know what you needed to have it be enough, I don’t know what you think will be enough, but I _do_ know that – I am never going to be it for you, so…I’m done trying. I am beyond what you intended me to be Father, I have outgrown you- as all children do parents- and you not seeing that doesn’t make it untrue. I am beyond you dad, and I am not going to let you harm that which I have chosen.”**

His words hung in the air like the opening strains of funeral song or the last phrase of a love song, and for a moment Indra could see the man he had called dad when very young in the cracks in Hagoromo’s expression and the slightest tremor of his lips before the Ōtsutsuki pulled disapproval up in an old shield. Indra closed his eyes, aching as the last chance of stopping this here and saving their relationship was lost as Hagoromo snipped “What, are _you_ going to fight me? You think you are strong enough to touch me? Think the kami can? I have the power of the God Tree, if you think to fight me-“ **“No.”** “-…no?”

 **“No Father I am not going to fight you”** and Indra opened his eyes, the wash of power sending lesser kami and spirits to their knees at the power in his star filled gaze **“I do not need to match power with you Father, not with how you hunger for it”** and though clearly a bit thrown Hagoromo tried anyway, “You think I am power hungry Indra?” he demanded in clear reproof and Indra shook his head with a laugh. **“Like grandmother? No, don't lie to yourself, she chooses power out of _fear_ because that is all she has ever been taught; you _father_ you choose power out of anger, out of spite and vindictiveness and the desperate need to prove once and for all that you are _right_ in a way no one can dispute. No one has the independence to dispute. You choose power because you want the world to be under your control, all of it, every single facet of it, that's different.” **Indra paused for a breath, meeting his father’s eyes **“You choose power because you want a world where nothing can happen in a way you do not dictate, where you stand at the top and nothing else can happen that you don't want, and I don't know _why_ you feel like this is how it has to be but….I don’t know that it matters. So I'm telling you right now, you have no power over me. You never did, not that I didn't give you.” **

It hurt to see his father go pale and strained but Indra had made his choice and he would make it again if he had too, **“So this my choice, the God Tree is gone and yet it remains. God no longer but world spanning still, it is a wood and thus I take it”** in front of him a tree formed out of shinning particles of light, power that was still his even as a kami – for he had never been washed clean of the God Tree’s power and within him lived both the celestial and the astral in the divine fire and the God Tree’s cold hunger. Both within him balanced with To’ra’s faith and Madara’s passion and Indra’s resolve, both his and as such **“and I remake it,”** his to command. With a wave the tree became a shinning wheel made of stars and sparks and firefly moments, spinning mortality in long threads **“wood to wheel, the turning of the ages, the nature of change; you will be remade father, on the wheel of souls even the prohibition of the god’s washes away. The fate you refused me I give to you; may you find a kinder path in your new days.”**

And his father looked at him with deepest betrayal as the power of the wheel surrounded him and stripped away from him all the threads and trappings of his own semi-divine power. In that moment Indra stepped forward as the older man fought the power and placed a hand on his father’s shoulder, murmuring just for them in the center of the whirling stars **“You can let go now dad, its ok to let go”** and Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki, the Sage of Six Paths – did.

* * *

His clothes fell with a dull thump to the floor and Indra stared at them for a moment as his power settled, feeling tired and old beyond words until a hand landed between his shoulders and turned him to face Tobirama, watching him with sad eyes as he cupped Madara’s cheek and whispered, **“Well done, Indra”**. Just like that the world gained back its color and he fell into his love, gathering his other half as close as they could get and just breathing through the changing world, until a soft feminine voice asked quietly behind him, “Can I – can I go with him? I know, I know he did a lot of things that weren’t good, but…he wasn’t – I want – can I go with him?” and Indra turned to look at the woman that had come in after his father, Tobirama shifting where he was pressed to Indra’s side and whispering in his ear who she was and had been to Hagoromo and Indra felt his heart calm a bit. **“If that is truly what you wish? Then yes, go in peace and fight for better days”** and with a smile she too took another step into a different life, easing Indra’s fears for his father a bit until – “Indra, _Madara_ , I think I probably ought to as well. He will still have a lot of power, it wouldn’t be good to leave him without a counterbalance” and Madara stiffened as Asura stepped out from the back of the hall, smiling uncertainly at his older brother/best friend.

The sight of Asura- and he thought this was more Asura than Hashirama- was in some ways more of a shock than the Sage had been, and more painful. This was the man that had stabbed him in the back rather than let him leave, the man that had hurt his beloved so much that had – but, no, that wasn’t what this was about, that was the past and Madara was trying to leave that behind him now; kami can’t hold grudges, it’s not worth it. Still he didn’t even know what to say, feeling like there was supposed to be some sort of dramatic proclamation or reconciliation or – but Madara was just…too tired and so sent Asura after the other two with a wave of his rapidly ebbing power, sagging into Tobirama as he did and deeply relived when Amaterasu immediately took over again and started herding people around, sending kami scurrying. An eddy of attendants carried Madara and Tobirama away farther into the palace and- more importantly- to a _bed_ , though they couldn’t collapse until all over clothes had been stripped off and Madara’s hair had been tied back by Tobirama (Madara may or may not have giggled when Tobirama looked like he was going to bite someone’s hand off if they tried to touch Madara’s hair) and only then were they allowed to curl up together. _Finally_ just them being together and breathing in each other’s presence, perfectly content as long as they were together – _finally._

(In another life, years away a blonde child opened wide bright eyes, wondering and hopeful as growing things made new, not far away a pink haired girl kicked her tinny feet and fisted a tiny hand in too-light hair, and in the Uchiha compound a small grumpy child wailed; everything over-new and stressful and he had an older brother?! And all that was old was washed away in the sluice from a turning wheel.)


End file.
